Crap,Crap and more Crap!!!

Hi All,

Long time since i made a post. To be honest , didn't wanna post Tagged - Part II so soon. Especially since many people apreciated it. (Now i am scared that i will diasppoint them with part -II ) And also i din't have anything to write about. Infact i am clueless as to what this blog is gonna be, hence the title - Crap, Crap and more Crap!!!
Let me try poetry ... (another crap one )
I looked up , and saw clear blue sky,
Looked down, saw a butterfly,
But what made me cry ,
A single stolen potato fry !!!

Thats what i said at the beginning, its just Crap, Crap and more Crap !!!

Another one,

I sat up thinking about what to write,
So that my wordings sound right..
I have to consider's reader's plight,
Which is why i'm crapping light !!!

Huh, will i ever write something witty and thought provoking ???
Doubt it, but will try it, attempt it ... one day i might!!!
One day i will !!!

We have to go a long way, to reach what we desire,
To know what we desire, itself takes a long time to know,
The truth is, are we ready to spare time?
To know what we cherish, what we desire?
Think , one day you might know the answer !!!

Didn't wanna sound sentimental, but therei go again,
Sentimental , YOUNG fool..
Don't know what else to blog , so i end it here, guess it not exactly crap.
But when what i wrote, is not what i wanted to write ,
Then its crap right ????
Huh knew that i would somehow bring logic into what i write.

By the way did i write to sound like crap, and argued that even though it wasn't crap, that it is. Huh Crap again. I have gone crazy!!!

I could take two sides and argue both sides , but i think i have crapped enough, so bye for now.

CIAO...

Tagged -1st part

Hi all,

Though i don't really agree with tagging, i still go ahead with it. Only because i thought it could turn out to be fun after all.
Well in this first part of the "i don't know how many series are there" i would like to share some moments, which are truly precious to me.
In the Chronological order

1. When my kindergaden teacher slapped me 'coz i was very naughty.
2. When my third language teacher beat me coz i wasn't able to read. I scored the highest during the rest of the year in that subject only to show her that i wasn't a dumb person.
3. The first time, i won an inter school oratorical competition.
4. The time i went and complained to my school teacher that guys aren't behaving the way they should( I still feel ashamed about it).
5. My first attempt at acting. Well it was a very fine day. My house was to perform the last. The play was a hilarious one. We had rehearsed so well. Only hitch was that , the moment we went onstage, there was turn of events and a big downpour. Probably the rain wanted to bless us.
6. The time , when we all we about to return from tuition classes. I remeberd that the one of my friends had my note book. She was ahead of me. Then i did , "the one thing" which all my friends still laugh at. I ran clutching my cycle, while instead i could have just cycled. didn't even realise it. Turned back and gave a puzzled look at my friends. It was only later when all laughter had subsided they decided to tell me what happened. (you can guess what happened after that)
7. This too was onstage, i was onstage singing a solo song. My friend, who was at the end of the auditorium, was making faces. And in front of the all the school students( it happened in another school) i shouted at him. Huh? i din't stop at that. I went right back to the satge and resumed from where i had paused. (I wish that atleast i could have started from a stanza instead of the exact line where i let off).
8. When my teacher sent me to thank another teacher for her timely help. I misheard it as dance. I was in my 5th std i guess. The teacher was with the 9th std students. I just went upto her and said "DANCE" . You could guess what happened after that.(Hey it just shows, i never listen to other people right from childhood :)) I could have stopped at that. Buit then again with an eagerness and curiosity thats typical me , i went and asked my teacher what wasit, and promptly went and conveyed the message to the other one(This time i got it right though)
9. I used to stay back and help my ma'am. I used to carry the attendance register for the tuition classes for students of classes 6th upward. (i started doing this when i was in5th) After school hours. The vice principal was very impresssed with me that , one day he walked to my class and gave me a geometry box( I still have it) for my good work.
10. The first time a person said "I love you" .
11. The moment my best friend's parents let me decide (or rather advice) what course would suit their daughter better. Its one thing to be trusted by friends, but its an entirely different thing when Their parents love yuo as their own.
12. The time a person, whom i really cared about, made me cry, and rendered a sweet sincere apology the very next minute. (We are still very good friends)

Guess thats not in the chronological order..
The list goes on, so many memories to share. Will do that in part 2.
Bye for now.
CIAO

Five Point Someone

Hi All,

I wanted to read this book for a long time. Dunno why, but everybody just kept saying, its a must read. So atlast got to read it. Wanted to write about the book.
Well, for starters, it was a book completely different, in the way it was written , for its "honest to god" account, for its narrative, (absolute , not subtle). Closely knit characters, with no additional complications, a very simple book, but one which conveyed a lot. So accolades to the author who choose to be frank.
As usual with critics, that just the good part about the book. There are two things about the book, that I completely disagree with.
First, its treatment of women, (though not intentional I guess) it kinda portrays "girls are dumb image" well not exactly like that, but kinda like that. i.e. It just talks about the girls being a complete contrast to themselves. To be honest , its true(the part about girls being contrast to themselves), but not in the light manner in which its portrayed in the book.The author can't escape that he's not able to understand girls that's why its this way in the book.That'll be just an excuse. The truth is girls have many things that they correlate together, before formulating an opinion. i.e. Either that or they formulate a opinion without any data. Therefore, from a girls perspective, its completely different, every girl undergoes some sort of trauma, before taking a decision which is considered inappropriate to the surroundings. This is because of the way we have brought up, not just coz they are girls. In other words, girls shoulder more responsibility and are more bothered bout the consequences. They think twice before taking decisions...

Secondly, in the careless way it portrays the youth. Well not careless exactly , but with books like these becoming best -sellers, it will just set an example for all the current gen. True , it does come with a disclaimer, but still certain things could have been avoided.These will become a trend, and the young minds can easily be spoilt. I am not being harsh on the book, its just that I am afraid for the effect this book on the youth. Casual exposure like this, will only increase the curiosity, which could have been dealt in a better way ( I also have to add that, apart from these, I found it an enjoyable, fast read . One book which I just couldn't put down before I finished .And also the author has every right to express what he feels, so I ain't saying he's wrong. Just like the author, I have every right to have my own opinion, that's why I am posting this.)

Well that's my opinion people, you are free to comment..

Till my next post....

CIAO.

Rainy Day in Chennai

Hi All,
Chennai at its best.... So much rain.. Heavenly climate, windy days ....
Cool breeze that makes you float..
Soft wind that rush through your ears ...
The air around singing merry...
Placing a grin on your face...
A long awaited heaven...
At last in Chennai.

I look up at the sky, wanting to throw my umbrella , to dance , to cheer , to laugh,
to have tears of joy running down my cheeks,
Mingling with the sweet rain,indistinguishable from my tears.
Oh rain, how nice it is to see your pouring down,
Blessing the people on the roads,
Tearing the sky, yet opening my heart,
Down you pour , but lift my spirits,
You are crying, but make me laugh,
Washing away the dread , the fear,
Yet reinforcing the hope, and love,
A BIT of you is all it takes to make a HUGE difference...

You make me write poetry, though meaningless,
Makes me wonder what made me turn into one.
I really do wonder how unselfish you are,
To make all people happy, not expecting anything in return,
You are truly a miracle, for my stony heart is melting ,
Rushing down, my defenses withdrawn.............

Gazing and gazing at you, I lose count of time, place ,people -Yes people,
Wanting to turn into one like you,
Having a freewill, yet making everyone smile ,
The moment you pass them..
I LOVE you rain..

Wanting to be like you,
With so much love in my heart,
waiting for the perfect one,
Like how you found thunder,
Longing to care and be cared,

Waiting for the right opportunity ,
I bid adieu , not to you ,but to my writing
Coz whatever I may write will never do justice to you.
And whatever you make me feel can never be repaid back.
Bye Bye rain , And don't rain often
Coz then I will only dream...

The People who have inspired me

Hi all,

This post is a tribute to the people who have influenced and inspired me. Being an egoist , I don't usually listen when I know I am right ,(though politely hear what the other person is saying) but these people have inspired me. Three different people, in three different dimensions.

They have greatly shaped my life....

Here goes..................

The first person is my cousin sister. I was totally crazy about her, she used to be the first person I see in the morning (without even brushing my teeth, I used to go to her as soon as I woke up) She was doing her MBBS that time. I remember troubling her all the time, making her to play with me.Sing with me etc etc. She never complained , was a really sweet person . Infact whatever she did ,was what I considered appropriate. I just wanna narrate one small incident. I was the kinda girl who used to think that sightadichifying is a sin (well now I have changed ) One day when I was staying over at my cousin's place( I was 12 years old that time) I told her, why do people esp girls behave so bad, they shouldn't do that. (well u might be wondering whether she laughed out loud at this-She didn't do that. She just remained silent. And said its only natural at this age) I was so confused at that point , how could my idol , say something totally against my belief's. But since she said that , and knowing that she's the sorta person who never goes wrong , I realized its a natural process. U might be wondering how this influenced me. Don't let ur imagination run wild. It just thought me ,not to have any pretense in life. It's more important to realize that being frank is more important than being considered good by a few people who hardly matter. Take responsibility for your actions and BE HONEST TO YOURSELF. There's nothing as bad as self-pretense frank about who you are, don't cheat yourself. Well she thought me that. The incident itself is insignificant. She could have pretended that time and told , whatever I had considered till then is true and that's how a person should be blah blah blah.. But even at that age, she had the integrity not to lie to me for such an insignificant thing. That touched me..

Well goin on to the second person... This girl was my school senior. Two years older to me. We were both in the same house So used to play dramas together .She was the one who really inspired me to be bold, and talk what I feel ,to shed inhibitions.. Infact I feel that talking spontaneously is far easier than speaking a rehearsed one. She was the one who thought me that .(well she didn't teach - I just kinda got the skill from her) An amazing person, she makes audiences spell bound by her speech. She made me take active interest in speaking ,dramatics etc. When she was about to leave school , I went upto her and asked her to fill my slam-book (It's such a shame -these slam books asking people to fill what are their hobbies ,interest ,favorite actor etc etc) Instead a plain paper would suffice and carry more meaning . Well I was young that time so gave her my book .She just wrote this ,though I have more friends much closer than her who filled my book -this one stands out-coz it touched my heart "she wrote_ Dear prathiba , you are cute. Love to have a sister like you. The fact that she would have wanted me as a sister was really overwhelming. (and that too she cramped this much into the tiny space that was available). That was the second person.

Coming to the third , this girl was my college senior, three years older than me. Bubbly and undying enthusiast ,she was ever ready , always a sport , who just loved to make millions of friends. I was glad that I was one amongst her friends in my batch.. (though I was three years younger than her, she never treated me like a junior) And also , her sister being a designer ,she used to wear these amazing clothes ,which looked totally cool on her started taking interest in clothes only after seeing her so beautifully dressed...Just by speaking to her , her enthu caught on me. However tired I was , speaking to her used to revitalise me. Some people really do have that charm (people say that I do have that- but I don't like to brag about it) Well she inspired me, thought that happiness is in me, I can be happy if I want , its the power of the soul , and the mind that influences things.

All the three shared a common trait, they were all honest to themselves, frank ,and had integrity .(No back -biting ) And also all three thought me all this without even saying a word about it . They simply were themselves ,which was why I liked them so much. And they also thought me that being ourselves is more important , Personality traits can be changed according to the benchmark, but personality and the character that defines the person should never change. Simply being ourselves is being great . I owe it to them ,who let me learn in my own way ...... Thus letting me be myself.................

Well then till my next post

CIAO.

One true love

Hi All,

Well this time , i am gonna write about one true love, that happened (thta i happened to witness in my life). Unlike most i would like to say i was really CRAZY, mad about my one true love. It was my CAT . U know what i did to the cat i loved more than my life, i killed it, yes i killed it.I killed it mercilessly, and the guilt that i carry will exist beyond my grave too.
Rewinding the past, nostalgic memories rush throug h my head ,
Unable to forget the MIOW , unable to forget its cute smile ,
Which used to lift my spirits, whatever position i am in.
It was a cat so NOBLE, (infact i hate to say it was a cat a cat so noble, making its end a finality , a certainity in my life) People might wonder ,even laugh out loud that i am calling a cat as noble, but it was (it was my cat, so it couldn't be anything less , i suppose-- Well this too is one of my mokkai's). Well it had that nobility , and selflessness that even humans fail to have at times. Well i will tell u bout the love story ...........
It started when i was a kid ,when i was in my 4th std i think .My cat staryed into my house. I loved it the moment i set my eyes on it.It was pure white , with a Biiiig bushy tail which it kept fluttering and scuttling around always ,showing off its beauty.(will upload my cat's pic later).
We were good friends , all my worries used to vanish the very instant i set my eyes on it.
Coming to the love story , after long , my cat found a girlfriend (another cat near my place). Well since we loved our cat , we used to feed the other one too. Here's where my cat's nobility and selflessness is shown.The other cat used to hog, it was a glutton ,but we never used to mind. Infact, after eating its share , it used to come to my cat's bowl and start eating. Guess what my cat used to do, IT WILL MOVE ASIDE AND MAKE PLACE FOR ITS GIRL.
Amazing, and if something's left over , after the its gf's finished eating it will eat ,otherwise jsut used to remain happy. So noble,so pure it was. Guess what happened after this, it's gf ditched it.She left him.My cat used to wander around the terrace, looking for the trace of its ONE TRUE LOVE. But
"aval parandhu ponnale
En cattai marandhu ponnale"
It didn't eat for a week. And it stopped looking for a girlfriend after this incident.
Well coming back to the present ,i said that i kiiled my cat. U know how .....
We decided to construct a new house and move in there. But cats are loyal creatures. they are afraid of entering a new place unknown to them. So however hard i tried i couldn't make my cat come to the new place.So it chose to remain in the old place. It died two months later, due lack of care. I hate myself for killing it. I sit around and enjoy at my new home ,while my cat is dead.
Whenver i look at his picture , i feel its imploring ,just asking ,questioning me "why did u leave me" .I feel so bad, it was my dear, my darling , a soul i loved so much , and yet let go.
I had said that if
" u love something let it free , if it comes back to u ,its love ,else it was never loved"
So didn't i LOVE my cat. Why should it be this way????? Only thing i have decided is never to have a cat again in my life .Its the last i could do for u dear (though knowing u, i konw u wouldn't want it that way),my dear dino.
My mind full of memories ,
And heart full of pain,
CIAO--- till my next post

Do love marriages work?????

Hi all,

Its kinda become like a signature ,me greeting saying ("Hi all") n me signing off saying "Ciao". I happen to like it.So trying to make it a routine.

Well forgetting that n coming to the topic of the blog, Do love marriages work?????, or the topic should have more like do arranged marriages work???? It would have been more apt, i guess.

Well for starters ,most of the people i know come to me when they are in love, nn ask (they have made me the "free consultant" ever ready , always wise and more importantly always nice).Well opinions can be very wrong at times. But its the opinion of other people so i am not complainig(He he he).Well i am again deviating from the topic.

Well coming bak to the topic, when people usually ask is love marriage a better option, i seriously dunno what to tell them, it really depends on wat kinda environment they are brought up in.I seriously feel that when people don't have the guts to go ahead with love ,ready to face any obstacle, (be it parents or society, or caste or creed or money) they shouldn't love.

Coz in the end the suffering which they have to endure as a result of a breakup due to these obvious reasons fro mthe very beginning ,is much more, and much more terrible too. Have seen lots doing this mistake.When a small part of u says that it can't happen, that u won't be together probably u should desist from doing so. Coz in the end u r the loser ,not anyone else. Well there are people who are ready to endure pain too (even its a lost love ,they don't mind)Well those are hopeless cases not to be taken into consideration. Well so if people have the guts to go ahead face all for love, then people i feel u can. Otherwise don't, u will end up hurting urself and ur loved one too.

Ok coming to arranged marriages ,do they work???? Well actually, we make them work, irrespective of whether its really compatible or not, because we have been thought to do so from the very beginning. N frankly ,without knowing anything bout a person how can we marry him or her. What if they r tottally unlike someone we are expecting all along in our life. Happens right ???? Yet we stick together coz its the way we are.(its actually a shame,but in a way its good too) .N hey differences only make us individuals. Otherwise we'll all be clones in the vast of humanity. Well we are prepared to make arranged amrriages work ,regardless of whether it really works, So why don't we try the same wit hlove marriages.

Probably ,we can accept a person unknown (read:arranged marrige) to be non-ideal, and we can accept them not being Mr.Right ,but we somehow cannot digest the fact that the person we loved is not Mr.Right (or miss.Right for that matter). its because we always feel that they are the one for us, born to marry us, and can't envision anything second without thier presence felt.

So whe nthey fall of short of our expectations (or atleast we come to realise only later that htey fall short of our expectations) we cannot accept that. After all they are only humans ,and its totally beyond most people's capacity to feel otherwise.

Well this is how i analyse it to be. So all you people waiting to falll in love, please think twice, and if u r too sure ,go ahead ,and allthe best .Let success be your loved one's.

Well then ,till my next post,

CIAO.

Importance of being independant

Hi all,
Huh, this time its different.I have a topic to blog about.Unlike my other blogs this has a purpose.It's something that i feel strongly about. It the most important aspect in a person's life.
Independance-- Well i am not talking about the indian independance or liberation of a kingdom, country or whatever. It's not about democracy(thats another topic bout which i think), its bout the liberation of soul. The ability to think ur own thoughts ,the freedom to voice ur own opinions (irrespective of the consensus). Just because ur opinion is not the commonly accepted one doesn't mean that u should change ur opinion to suit that of the mass. Its crazy, when we think something ,After thinking that,after the thought took shape ,colour and pattern, y should we change it just because other's don't agree. Aren't we pretending ,by surrendering without any shame to the mass of common views, destorying our integrity in the process of doing so. Aren't we dragging our soul according to the manipulation of the public. I think we do.But we don't happen to realize it.We don't REALIZE that we are destroying our SELF in the process. Maybe i am being too harsh while saying this , but i know or i feel i am right. N its my opinion, (my opinion cannot be wrong to myself ,if it does ,it was never my opinino iin the first place).I am not saying that we shouldn't change our opinion ,we can but the decision to do so, must be prompted by us ,not by the consensus. Infact that too is our own opinion , i am not saying that we shouldn't be influenced by society , but what i am saying is that ,in the end,its our will, our thought ,our decision that should guide us .Ofcouse these can be because we belive that something or someone else is right, but definitely not because ,the society feels that we ought to think so.
Its about liberating the soul. Its the mighty power of self .Thats what i like most ,total self control.Any person with total self control, will be a true leader, the greatest of the greats, an inspiration to others, an idol, a king, a true and complete human.all of us i think should try to do that, we should be our masters, not hte soiiety.Ofcourse people who are able to achieve this may tend to become totally selfish and apart from controlling themselves will try to control the society around them. But wanting to do so, itself a sign of weakness, a sign saying that power is in vcontrol of them and not viceversa. So this is what i write now, but my strong views on independance sure doesn't end here.
Well thats it for now.( and i apologise for my previous blog , i completely failed myself that time, its a pathetic attempt to blog , n all that .But hey its my blog so i can blog anything.)
Well then CIAO
till my next blog...........

Rapidly, a great leap in blogging

Hi all,
From now on beware of the number of blogs that i am gonna post. Seriouly u miss few days , u are gonna miss a lot. As i said there are a lot of things to be done and completed today.
But truth is right now i am not able to do anything, coz i don't have the resources.
Bad. But atleast i can blog .Thats great right. Never thought i could do this. Well things always take a turn. So what to write bout right now. My mind's confused right now.So i will write bout confusion. (ok,too much mokkai,i realize ,but wat to do that's me) .
Well there are about a hundred hthoughts criss crossing right now, each competing against one another to take precedance. But so far none succeeded. (probably the thought that i am blogging is the forerunner). People who get to read this may feel what a waste of blogspace. But atleast now my mind's trying to organise itself from chaos. If it succeeds, well then that's when this blog ends. Too Confusing???? When i am not able to understand and correlate all thta i think, nobody else can even dream of understanding.
Ok my mind's now entirely on the blog, its like a dramatic action sequence thats going through my head right now, all fights ,all thoughts vying for attention. (Well i dunno whehter the thought thta they are all vying for attention is in the race or not.But that hardly matters coz, anyway its all inside my head). i make make any take precendence or make them vanish.Supreme control over oneself is wat i preach n try to follow.But not always do i succeed. But i am upon the half way mark in supreme control. N hey those of u who r reading this still,well u get the MOST patient eprson of the year award.(hoping that u wouldn't end up as a patient in mental asylum--yep that's another one of my mokkai.) So thanks to those who r still continuing ,despite my monumental efforts to bore u. Now that my mind's controlled i take leave.
CIAO.

Can't think of topic

Hi all,
We meet once again.This is a long gap,but well i had my reasons.Was kinda busy and preoccupied with other things.The truth is i don't know what i am blogging about right now, once a sense of happiness flooding through my viens,(don't even know why i am so happy,that too knowing thta tomorrow is gonna be one very very long day in office). Well in this gap learnt lots (both techie and otherwise).
Well for starters i miss my dearset friend, she's gone to calcutta now.On top of that ,people who have mattered to me the most are someplace else.(That too all the people whom i considered very very close ,and without whom i can't envision a life ) have left. Some out of country ,some out of state.
But i guess this way its better.When they were in town the "complacency factor" made me always think that well i can always talk to them tomorrow or day after.The problem was tomorrow nevewr came ,so forget the "day after". But now that they have gone , i keep in touch (read constant touch) through email, networks ,PHONECALLS (plz don't remind bout my mobile bill-just kidding). Well time and space are just test of relations.If relations are from the heart and to the core , then nothing else matters. It works reverse way too.Once u r ready to let go something or someone , whe nthey are not around then they were never as important as you thought them to be in the first place.Sure i do agree that the moments with them will bring peals of alughter to ur face, or tears in ur eyes, but those r just moments ,fleeting and vanishing, transient and sometimes misleading. Just these words keep coming back to me dunno why

"IF u love someone or something ,
Just let go.
If they or that come back to u ,its love
Else ----It was never loved"

Too true, i guess.Only distance can judge relations i feel. So if u r in search of the perfecr friend, or perfect partner or the perfect person in ur life jsut let go. N c what happens. (Again as i have always said -Perfection in my opinion is having imperfections in life,these are the kutty things in life that matter al ot to me-will blog on that one later).Well i think i have made my pt.
And i am really impressed with myself now(i actually started without knowing wat to woite ,n ended making some sense i think)I have improved,dunno wat riaz has to say on this one.
This will ensure that he cooments(ha ha ha ha).
Will then till my next post ----CIAO

just for nothing

hi all. we meet once more. it has now become a compulsion for me to blog these days. infact when i am travelling i think of topics to blog about. but those r serious stuff. fundamentalism and attitude, idealism etc etc.

tot of writing something not heavy to read.

so the title. actually how many of us do things JUST FOR NOTHING.

all our actions r motivated by some thing or the other. we don't do any action involuntarily. Every single action is because of some motive or the other.

Disagree?????? Lets take a scenario. Ur friend is in need of help. U r in a position to do so.

U help ur friend.Why?????? Only because he is ur friend definitely not.Again disagree ?????????

U help him because in the future u might be in his shoes and he might be the person to bail u out. A favour returned. (Occurs in some cases).But the main motive is that U WANT ur friend to THINK good about u. this is the truth .If someone is gonna feel bad that we helped them ,or hate us because v helped them then sure we won't help them. Its only for gratitude and the FEEL GOOD FACTOR that v help others.

Its bad people.It is actually bad.But v get accolated for our selfless efforts. Irony.V r actually selfish people .But nobody realises. Think people, don't accept data.Format them into facts and information before processing them to interpret behaviour(I think i am gettin bit techy).

Just this at the end of this blog, don't do things because some one said u to do so, don't ever try to pretend goodness, there is no inherent or inherited or acquired good on this earth.The only good u can really do is being good to urself. Thinking positively , having atleast a bit of ego, developing thoughts , improving ur soul.etc etc.

Most i have mentioned r quite arguable. Though i stick to my vesion of it.

In the end its the only thing that matters. Though iwrite all this , i too am just ANOTHER person so i am not completely be able to be the ideal person i dream of being( one of the main criteria I consider ideal is being imperfect in kutti kutti things ).Eventually though i hope to be so.

Bye for now not for ever.

Till my next post

On the job.

long time no see.this is actually the reality.ppl at office have this great craze for blogging.most that i know r bloggers.got to read few of their blogs today.so inspired that i feel liking blogging right now. but wat to blog about.lots and lots that i can write.but got to be careful since now i have a wider audience.

it actually feels great to work in office.Initially i had my own misgivings, but now i am comfortable. Just when i have settled in ,and feel nice about my group of friends there, i am shifted.Thank goodness Sam is comin with me(4 those who r wondering sam is a girl).But then being shifted has it own advantages too.Lots of guys to sight adichify in viceroy building.
all that apart but again the familiar feeling of dreading into unknown territory creeps in.I dont understand why it works this way for me.

All people at office treat me like a kid. I dont mind it as long as they take me seriously when it comes to work.I havethis gift of blabbering and talkin nonsense that too in a kiddish way that even if i otufy some people they dont really mind it.I am happy about it.So wat does it feel like to work???????
A big ?????????????
Actually we had a sample portal to build.It wasn't tough .But wat was toough was that we had to complete in 2 weeks. Takin off sat & sun thats 10 days.(inclusive of vinayaka chaturti).it was really like hell.we worked inhuman hoursa.Hardly 2 months into work and i am returning by 1'o clock at nite.It was crazy .on top of this we had to give demo to our senior executive.
All in all it was a nightmare fortnite.But it was also great workin.coz i was able to do wat was assigned to me.More than that i did it such tat it worked which was an achievement by itself. Pushin aside modesty, my work was done by 3 ppl in hte other team.
So i am really happy bout it.So as long as u work ,not minding the ungodly hours its alrite.But if u r want a life exclusive of office,not a workaholic,then its good .Infact great . i am not scaring anybody, but its true that all the people who work in software get used to it in the end.
i get reminded of one song at this pt.it goes like this....

I tried so hard ,but lost it all.
in the END it doesnt even matter.
(Linkin Park)

So wat is life if full of care,
and we have no time to stand and stare(Wordsworth i guess,not too sure)

Kutty things inlife should matter a lot than the BIG things in life.
Thats my pt people.
Enjoy small things in life.Big thingswill automatically fall in place.

GOD and faith.

GOD who is god.A person, a spirit, an embodiment of justice,epitome of mercy ,an immortal soul, the essence of goodness,or all of the above.Maybe or maynot be.God to me is simply FAITH.A faith that wont let evil harm you, a faith that will make you conscientous(because of belief that otherwise u might be punished) ,a faith that will prepare u for the tasks ahead(for fear of failure and faith that hard work leads to success).So faith is everything.Faith is in short GOD.god is not a creation of humans because faith is inherent in humans.i.e.God exists in all humans.When something preexists in humans how can it be a creation.Infact it cannot even be called a discovery because always there's faith inside us.We might shun it, overlook it,pretend it doesn't exist,might even convince ourselves that it never existed.But that hope never fails.It's methods may fail, but hope never fails.Ofcourse that is under hte constraint faith in a true cause never fails.Merciless killings in the name of god,bribes to God in return for granting favours never wins the heart of god.

God doesn't expect ANYTHING from humans.not flowers,not prayers,not animal sacrifices,not cash in undiyal.He gives what he feels we ought to have.Not because of our offerings.God is not for bribe, otherwise not even the richest can afford him.What humans do for venduthal is not needed by god but just a way of saying to one who gave us everything.its the only method known to humans,sacrificing material things which according to man is vital than simple care for fellow humans.Even if u don't go to temples or churches or mosques God is there in u .cause u have faith, faith is GOD. cause god is not a politician who does things in return for hte flowers that is offered to him.i am not saying that we shouldn't offer flowers to god but rather what i am saying is that by doing so,we shouldn't think that god will favour our wishes.god favours our wishes if and when we deserve it.his ways r not understandable,becuse even faith s not understandable.

All i ask of people who read this is just this.U have faith in ur mom ,dad,friends,relatives,other beings,but why don't u have the faith in urself, in the GOD inside u,When u can believe,the idols in the sanctum can work wonders, why don't u trust the santorum inside ur heart.GOD never leaves us, its us who choose to ignore him.plz trust urself,who knows even ur acknowledgement of him might work wonders.Never stop beliving,never stop trusting, GOD and ur SELF.

life to me

life to me is very preciousnot in the sense that i am afraid that i will drop dead the next minuteits more serious than thatI hve never taken life easilyEven when its easy i wiill look for ulterior motivesmaybe i am paranoid but i firmly beleive that when things go too well for ur own good there's something siniter lurking behindwell its a crazy thought actually,and maybe the effect of the novels i read.

i always feel that love is crazy.coz its not definite.what we think now changes over time and space.so why think what we think now.thats maybe because people r impulsive.most don't think.they act to situations.because when u start thinking inevitably there's something strange lurking over.and people love being simple.they dont want compications they don't undersand in life.i am different in the sense that i love complications in my life.if life's normal for me,i feel immensely disturbed that something's gonna happen.when life's not normal ijust feel at peace that it cannot get worse than this.

so ultimately i realize that i never feel like being happy, coz i fear my happines will be short lived and futile.so i prefer being unhappy.its not only me but most deep down are like this,but don't yet realize it.i dont know what else to write so i conclude with this.

to lose what u have

life is never easy.atleast i don't think so.its not because i am cynic, its because life's like that.to have what u believe to be the best in the world , a great job, a great career , admiration of all, only to discover its slipping through ur hands before u know it.God's ways are not accountable or understandable, why does he give sooooo much happiness when he knows its going to be short lived, when he knows the pain that comes as a esult is much more terrible.
Its easy to live losing things that u don't have, (coz u never knew u had it in the first place),but to lose something after u get it,and before u r able to enjoy it even for a bit is terrible, its leaves totally unprepared, totallly confused, totally exhausted, totally lifeless.

my soulmate

This blog is a special tribute to my special friend. This friend of mine is the rarest amongst the rare.She is my sanity.The gentle touch of her hand, the smile on her face,the way she idolizes me, her sweet nature, the way she thinks everything with her heart not her head, everything about her is amazing.

I have never seen a soul so pure, not even the lightest pretense,how she accomades everyone(even those who are not true to her) in her heart, how she always places others interest before her own, never hurting others (even by mistake) the most purest and amazing human i have had the opputunity to meet.She doesn't embarrass me more when i am already embarrassed,always defends me (even when i am wrong ) most caring. Above all she doesn't have the slightest clue that she is all this and much more.She is not this way because its the best way to be, she is like this because she doesn't know how else to be.Her motives are never shadowed with fame ,glory, reconition,reward .Do her wrong, she repays you back with twice the kindness that people don't deserve & do her good she thinks the world of you.

My precious little friend, whom i want for myself, my sweet support, my weakness, and above all my life.

She is Jeevitha for me.

reasons why i created this blog

hi everyone,

Let us have a small introduction about myself.I am a spirited, enthusiastic INDIVIDUAL. I make my own decision and control my own life.I love reading novels and listening to music and i also collect tickets(though its a habit and not a hobby).I take pleasure both in the presence and absence of people.I love clothes and chocolates.

I am funloving at the same time i am a serious minded individual .I think a lot and i am self analysing.Since i feel my thoughts are overflowing and since this blog space provides me my outlet i have choosen to become a blogger.I want to preserve my anonymity while at the same time reach out to people.I am a contrast to myself(my outer self) most of the the times, and also like million others i need emotional balance which is why this blog was created