One true love

Hi All,

Well this time , i am gonna write about one true love, that happened (thta i happened to witness in my life). Unlike most i would like to say i was really CRAZY, mad about my one true love. It was my CAT . U know what i did to the cat i loved more than my life, i killed it, yes i killed it.I killed it mercilessly, and the guilt that i carry will exist beyond my grave too.
Rewinding the past, nostalgic memories rush throug h my head ,
Unable to forget the MIOW , unable to forget its cute smile ,
Which used to lift my spirits, whatever position i am in.
It was a cat so NOBLE, (infact i hate to say it was a cat a cat so noble, making its end a finality , a certainity in my life) People might wonder ,even laugh out loud that i am calling a cat as noble, but it was (it was my cat, so it couldn't be anything less , i suppose-- Well this too is one of my mokkai's). Well it had that nobility , and selflessness that even humans fail to have at times. Well i will tell u bout the love story ...........
It started when i was a kid ,when i was in my 4th std i think .My cat staryed into my house. I loved it the moment i set my eyes on it.It was pure white , with a Biiiig bushy tail which it kept fluttering and scuttling around always ,showing off its beauty.(will upload my cat's pic later).
We were good friends , all my worries used to vanish the very instant i set my eyes on it.
Coming to the love story , after long , my cat found a girlfriend (another cat near my place). Well since we loved our cat , we used to feed the other one too. Here's where my cat's nobility and selflessness is shown.The other cat used to hog, it was a glutton ,but we never used to mind. Infact, after eating its share , it used to come to my cat's bowl and start eating. Guess what my cat used to do, IT WILL MOVE ASIDE AND MAKE PLACE FOR ITS GIRL.
Amazing, and if something's left over , after the its gf's finished eating it will eat ,otherwise jsut used to remain happy. So noble,so pure it was. Guess what happened after this, it's gf ditched it.She left him.My cat used to wander around the terrace, looking for the trace of its ONE TRUE LOVE. But
"aval parandhu ponnale
En cattai marandhu ponnale"
It didn't eat for a week. And it stopped looking for a girlfriend after this incident.
Well coming back to the present ,i said that i kiiled my cat. U know how .....
We decided to construct a new house and move in there. But cats are loyal creatures. they are afraid of entering a new place unknown to them. So however hard i tried i couldn't make my cat come to the new place.So it chose to remain in the old place. It died two months later, due lack of care. I hate myself for killing it. I sit around and enjoy at my new home ,while my cat is dead.
Whenver i look at his picture , i feel its imploring ,just asking ,questioning me "why did u leave me" .I feel so bad, it was my dear, my darling , a soul i loved so much , and yet let go.
I had said that if
" u love something let it free , if it comes back to u ,its love ,else it was never loved"
So didn't i LOVE my cat. Why should it be this way????? Only thing i have decided is never to have a cat again in my life .Its the last i could do for u dear (though knowing u, i konw u wouldn't want it that way),my dear dino.
My mind full of memories ,
And heart full of pain,
CIAO--- till my next post

Do love marriages work?????

Hi all,

Its kinda become like a signature ,me greeting saying ("Hi all") n me signing off saying "Ciao". I happen to like it.So trying to make it a routine.

Well forgetting that n coming to the topic of the blog, Do love marriages work?????, or the topic should have more like do arranged marriages work???? It would have been more apt, i guess.

Well for starters ,most of the people i know come to me when they are in love, nn ask (they have made me the "free consultant" ever ready , always wise and more importantly always nice).Well opinions can be very wrong at times. But its the opinion of other people so i am not complainig(He he he).Well i am again deviating from the topic.

Well coming bak to the topic, when people usually ask is love marriage a better option, i seriously dunno what to tell them, it really depends on wat kinda environment they are brought up in.I seriously feel that when people don't have the guts to go ahead with love ,ready to face any obstacle, (be it parents or society, or caste or creed or money) they shouldn't love.

Coz in the end the suffering which they have to endure as a result of a breakup due to these obvious reasons fro mthe very beginning ,is much more, and much more terrible too. Have seen lots doing this mistake.When a small part of u says that it can't happen, that u won't be together probably u should desist from doing so. Coz in the end u r the loser ,not anyone else. Well there are people who are ready to endure pain too (even its a lost love ,they don't mind)Well those are hopeless cases not to be taken into consideration. Well so if people have the guts to go ahead face all for love, then people i feel u can. Otherwise don't, u will end up hurting urself and ur loved one too.

Ok coming to arranged marriages ,do they work???? Well actually, we make them work, irrespective of whether its really compatible or not, because we have been thought to do so from the very beginning. N frankly ,without knowing anything bout a person how can we marry him or her. What if they r tottally unlike someone we are expecting all along in our life. Happens right ???? Yet we stick together coz its the way we are.(its actually a shame,but in a way its good too) .N hey differences only make us individuals. Otherwise we'll all be clones in the vast of humanity. Well we are prepared to make arranged amrriages work ,regardless of whether it really works, So why don't we try the same wit hlove marriages.

Probably ,we can accept a person unknown (read:arranged marrige) to be non-ideal, and we can accept them not being Mr.Right ,but we somehow cannot digest the fact that the person we loved is not Mr.Right (or miss.Right for that matter). its because we always feel that they are the one for us, born to marry us, and can't envision anything second without thier presence felt.

So whe nthey fall of short of our expectations (or atleast we come to realise only later that htey fall short of our expectations) we cannot accept that. After all they are only humans ,and its totally beyond most people's capacity to feel otherwise.

Well this is how i analyse it to be. So all you people waiting to falll in love, please think twice, and if u r too sure ,go ahead ,and allthe best .Let success be your loved one's.

Well then ,till my next post,

CIAO.

Importance of being independant

Hi all,
Huh, this time its different.I have a topic to blog about.Unlike my other blogs this has a purpose.It's something that i feel strongly about. It the most important aspect in a person's life.
Independance-- Well i am not talking about the indian independance or liberation of a kingdom, country or whatever. It's not about democracy(thats another topic bout which i think), its bout the liberation of soul. The ability to think ur own thoughts ,the freedom to voice ur own opinions (irrespective of the consensus). Just because ur opinion is not the commonly accepted one doesn't mean that u should change ur opinion to suit that of the mass. Its crazy, when we think something ,After thinking that,after the thought took shape ,colour and pattern, y should we change it just because other's don't agree. Aren't we pretending ,by surrendering without any shame to the mass of common views, destorying our integrity in the process of doing so. Aren't we dragging our soul according to the manipulation of the public. I think we do.But we don't happen to realize it.We don't REALIZE that we are destroying our SELF in the process. Maybe i am being too harsh while saying this , but i know or i feel i am right. N its my opinion, (my opinion cannot be wrong to myself ,if it does ,it was never my opinino iin the first place).I am not saying that we shouldn't change our opinion ,we can but the decision to do so, must be prompted by us ,not by the consensus. Infact that too is our own opinion , i am not saying that we shouldn't be influenced by society , but what i am saying is that ,in the end,its our will, our thought ,our decision that should guide us .Ofcouse these can be because we belive that something or someone else is right, but definitely not because ,the society feels that we ought to think so.
Its about liberating the soul. Its the mighty power of self .Thats what i like most ,total self control.Any person with total self control, will be a true leader, the greatest of the greats, an inspiration to others, an idol, a king, a true and complete human.all of us i think should try to do that, we should be our masters, not hte soiiety.Ofcourse people who are able to achieve this may tend to become totally selfish and apart from controlling themselves will try to control the society around them. But wanting to do so, itself a sign of weakness, a sign saying that power is in vcontrol of them and not viceversa. So this is what i write now, but my strong views on independance sure doesn't end here.
Well thats it for now.( and i apologise for my previous blog , i completely failed myself that time, its a pathetic attempt to blog , n all that .But hey its my blog so i can blog anything.)
Well then CIAO
till my next blog...........

Rapidly, a great leap in blogging

Hi all,
From now on beware of the number of blogs that i am gonna post. Seriouly u miss few days , u are gonna miss a lot. As i said there are a lot of things to be done and completed today.
But truth is right now i am not able to do anything, coz i don't have the resources.
Bad. But atleast i can blog .Thats great right. Never thought i could do this. Well things always take a turn. So what to write bout right now. My mind's confused right now.So i will write bout confusion. (ok,too much mokkai,i realize ,but wat to do that's me) .
Well there are about a hundred hthoughts criss crossing right now, each competing against one another to take precedance. But so far none succeeded. (probably the thought that i am blogging is the forerunner). People who get to read this may feel what a waste of blogspace. But atleast now my mind's trying to organise itself from chaos. If it succeeds, well then that's when this blog ends. Too Confusing???? When i am not able to understand and correlate all thta i think, nobody else can even dream of understanding.
Ok my mind's now entirely on the blog, its like a dramatic action sequence thats going through my head right now, all fights ,all thoughts vying for attention. (Well i dunno whehter the thought thta they are all vying for attention is in the race or not.But that hardly matters coz, anyway its all inside my head). i make make any take precendence or make them vanish.Supreme control over oneself is wat i preach n try to follow.But not always do i succeed. But i am upon the half way mark in supreme control. N hey those of u who r reading this still,well u get the MOST patient eprson of the year award.(hoping that u wouldn't end up as a patient in mental asylum--yep that's another one of my mokkai.) So thanks to those who r still continuing ,despite my monumental efforts to bore u. Now that my mind's controlled i take leave.
CIAO.

Can't think of topic

Hi all,
We meet once again.This is a long gap,but well i had my reasons.Was kinda busy and preoccupied with other things.The truth is i don't know what i am blogging about right now, once a sense of happiness flooding through my viens,(don't even know why i am so happy,that too knowing thta tomorrow is gonna be one very very long day in office). Well in this gap learnt lots (both techie and otherwise).
Well for starters i miss my dearset friend, she's gone to calcutta now.On top of that ,people who have mattered to me the most are someplace else.(That too all the people whom i considered very very close ,and without whom i can't envision a life ) have left. Some out of country ,some out of state.
But i guess this way its better.When they were in town the "complacency factor" made me always think that well i can always talk to them tomorrow or day after.The problem was tomorrow nevewr came ,so forget the "day after". But now that they have gone , i keep in touch (read constant touch) through email, networks ,PHONECALLS (plz don't remind bout my mobile bill-just kidding). Well time and space are just test of relations.If relations are from the heart and to the core , then nothing else matters. It works reverse way too.Once u r ready to let go something or someone , whe nthey are not around then they were never as important as you thought them to be in the first place.Sure i do agree that the moments with them will bring peals of alughter to ur face, or tears in ur eyes, but those r just moments ,fleeting and vanishing, transient and sometimes misleading. Just these words keep coming back to me dunno why

"IF u love someone or something ,
Just let go.
If they or that come back to u ,its love
Else ----It was never loved"

Too true, i guess.Only distance can judge relations i feel. So if u r in search of the perfecr friend, or perfect partner or the perfect person in ur life jsut let go. N c what happens. (Again as i have always said -Perfection in my opinion is having imperfections in life,these are the kutty things in life that matter al ot to me-will blog on that one later).Well i think i have made my pt.
And i am really impressed with myself now(i actually started without knowing wat to woite ,n ended making some sense i think)I have improved,dunno wat riaz has to say on this one.
This will ensure that he cooments(ha ha ha ha).
Will then till my next post ----CIAO

just for nothing

hi all. we meet once more. it has now become a compulsion for me to blog these days. infact when i am travelling i think of topics to blog about. but those r serious stuff. fundamentalism and attitude, idealism etc etc.

tot of writing something not heavy to read.

so the title. actually how many of us do things JUST FOR NOTHING.

all our actions r motivated by some thing or the other. we don't do any action involuntarily. Every single action is because of some motive or the other.

Disagree?????? Lets take a scenario. Ur friend is in need of help. U r in a position to do so.

U help ur friend.Why?????? Only because he is ur friend definitely not.Again disagree ?????????

U help him because in the future u might be in his shoes and he might be the person to bail u out. A favour returned. (Occurs in some cases).But the main motive is that U WANT ur friend to THINK good about u. this is the truth .If someone is gonna feel bad that we helped them ,or hate us because v helped them then sure we won't help them. Its only for gratitude and the FEEL GOOD FACTOR that v help others.

Its bad people.It is actually bad.But v get accolated for our selfless efforts. Irony.V r actually selfish people .But nobody realises. Think people, don't accept data.Format them into facts and information before processing them to interpret behaviour(I think i am gettin bit techy).

Just this at the end of this blog, don't do things because some one said u to do so, don't ever try to pretend goodness, there is no inherent or inherited or acquired good on this earth.The only good u can really do is being good to urself. Thinking positively , having atleast a bit of ego, developing thoughts , improving ur soul.etc etc.

Most i have mentioned r quite arguable. Though i stick to my vesion of it.

In the end its the only thing that matters. Though iwrite all this , i too am just ANOTHER person so i am not completely be able to be the ideal person i dream of being( one of the main criteria I consider ideal is being imperfect in kutti kutti things ).Eventually though i hope to be so.

Bye for now not for ever.

Till my next post

On the job.

long time no see.this is actually the reality.ppl at office have this great craze for blogging.most that i know r bloggers.got to read few of their blogs today.so inspired that i feel liking blogging right now. but wat to blog about.lots and lots that i can write.but got to be careful since now i have a wider audience.

it actually feels great to work in office.Initially i had my own misgivings, but now i am comfortable. Just when i have settled in ,and feel nice about my group of friends there, i am shifted.Thank goodness Sam is comin with me(4 those who r wondering sam is a girl).But then being shifted has it own advantages too.Lots of guys to sight adichify in viceroy building.
all that apart but again the familiar feeling of dreading into unknown territory creeps in.I dont understand why it works this way for me.

All people at office treat me like a kid. I dont mind it as long as they take me seriously when it comes to work.I havethis gift of blabbering and talkin nonsense that too in a kiddish way that even if i otufy some people they dont really mind it.I am happy about it.So wat does it feel like to work???????
A big ?????????????
Actually we had a sample portal to build.It wasn't tough .But wat was toough was that we had to complete in 2 weeks. Takin off sat & sun thats 10 days.(inclusive of vinayaka chaturti).it was really like hell.we worked inhuman hoursa.Hardly 2 months into work and i am returning by 1'o clock at nite.It was crazy .on top of this we had to give demo to our senior executive.
All in all it was a nightmare fortnite.But it was also great workin.coz i was able to do wat was assigned to me.More than that i did it such tat it worked which was an achievement by itself. Pushin aside modesty, my work was done by 3 ppl in hte other team.
So i am really happy bout it.So as long as u work ,not minding the ungodly hours its alrite.But if u r want a life exclusive of office,not a workaholic,then its good .Infact great . i am not scaring anybody, but its true that all the people who work in software get used to it in the end.
i get reminded of one song at this pt.it goes like this....

I tried so hard ,but lost it all.
in the END it doesnt even matter.
(Linkin Park)

So wat is life if full of care,
and we have no time to stand and stare(Wordsworth i guess,not too sure)

Kutty things inlife should matter a lot than the BIG things in life.
Thats my pt people.
Enjoy small things in life.Big thingswill automatically fall in place.