Sunday, April 09, 2006

Climax !!!

Hi All,

Time for the climax. For the story click here .
Thanks for all the wonderful climaxes..

Deepak's climax was realistic. It was a sensible end. Liked it a lot. Its more or less what would have happened in an actual situation.

Thiru's climax was kind of very nice. Kind of a dream sequence. Liked his version too.

Vasanth's climax was very sentimental and touching. Strong family sentiments, family story.
Liked this end too.

Srini's Climax was very good. The language flow, the descriptions and the narration was great. Liked it a lot.

Surprisingly, nobody wrote any super natural ends. Good to see that nobody's driven by superstitions these days :)
Since liked all the climax's don't want to be partial to one. (I know i am diplomatic :)) So choose all their versions as the audience version.

Now the much awaited(????) climax of mine . Here goes...

Suddenly , one day, driven by impulse, Anand decided to give "their" haunted cottage a visit. He was still feeling guilty for not presenting her with the only house she had desired. Deciding to brave odds, he asked Aditi to get ready. Noticing his excited state, Aditi got ready without asking a word.

She had no clue as to what was in store for them ..

When Anand turned his car car into the all familiar ECR route , Aditi was filled with trepidation. What's is he going to do ? Why is he taking this route ? Hasn't he still given up on the cottage?
Why is he taking such a risk ? Surely we can be happy without this cottage !!

She called softly "Anand. where are you taking me ? Don't tell me you are driving upto the run down cottage again.."

Silence was the only answer she received. Even in the cool AC she began to perspire. Why doesn't he say something. Why is he silent . What's has gotten into him ?

Suddenly some hundred yards from the cottage Anand stopped the car, got out..
'Come out dear', 'there's something i have to show you' . totally terrified now, she wailed ,

'Anand do you think its a really good idea. The same watchman might scare us ' 'Do we really need to do this.'

'Relax dear. Hold my hand. We are going for a walk. Just close your eyes till i ask you to open them'

After a short stretch ..'Open your eyes now'

Slowly she opened her eyes. First her reaction, was pure shock, then it was one of wonder, she couldn't believe it. The run down cotage was nowhere to be seen . In its place, stood an elgant & neat cottage, with a garden in front, a white fence surrounding it. The sea was roaring few hundred yards away. It was the most beautiful sight she had seen in a long while. Infact it looked much better than when she had noticed it first, with the fresh paint filling her nostrils.

How did it happen. Noticing her disbelief, Anand started to explain.
'I wanted to gift it to you, the moment you first set you eyes upon this house.But first i had to finish my MBA. Later i wanted to buy this property, when we decided upon the marriage date. But prices were sky rocketing, and lots of potential buyers were keen to buy this property. I knew if i had to pit against all the prospective buyers, i had to use all my cunning. What i couldn't achieve through wealth, i achieved through strategies.'

With a grin he added 'after all i am a MBA grad. I am supposed to be smart' .

'You are smart dear, no doubt about that'. replied Aditi.

The grin deepened into a smile, making Anand look energised.

'So i created a illusion , that this place was haunted. Murugan here, (the old man who had scared them earlier, came out, with a sheepish grin on his face. ) helped me. He warded off buyers who visited this place. So finally when i offered to buy this place, the owner was more than willing to let me buy it. That too at a reasonable price. My only regret is that i had to wait for a long time to get the place fixed . I had to wait several weeks after marriage to get you this. '

His smile turned into a sad , defeated one.

Aditi however , was in high spirits.
Hey forget that. Think of it this way .. You got this planned long before marriage. So actually it was ours, at the time of marriage. Only now we got time to fix it. I feel as though i am the happiest on earth. What's more important is that you love me so much, to go to such an extent for me . Somehow , somewhere som angel has blessed me with you. '

Anand looked at his loving wife(who was almost in tears) , smiled and said,

'Welcome home dear,' and ushered her into the cottage.

So thats the end of my first story guys and girls. Hope you all liked it .

See you later, till then,



Prathiba said...

Couldn't wait for others to wirte my first comment , so wrote it myself :)
Keep writing comments :)

Srini said...

What i couldn't achieve through wealth, i achieved through strategies.'

With a grin he added 'after all i am a MBA grad. I am supposed to be smart' ..

Supero super. I liked these lines. Seems you have become half MBA grad now..without even B-Schooling :) Gr8..nice climax !

Anand Prabhu said...

hehe..climax potacha...nice...climax.. :) Keep writing...

vasanth said...

nice climax.. keep writing :)

Prathiba said...

@ Srini,

Half MBA illa. Vetti . Thats why cook these so called strategies :)
I was half afraid climax pudikama poidumonnu :) Escape i guess ...:)

Prathiba said...

@ Anand,

Thanks, waiting for your next edition :)

@ Vasanth,

Thanks da.

Pushpa said...

hey prathiba...that was really coolll..loved ur storyyy..grttt one..nice start and nice end as well...go onnn..mes waiting to read more of ur stories....

Vasudevan Deepak Kumar said...

Nice climax ...
Nice (positive) climax ...
Nice (optimistic) climax ...

Prathiba said...

@ Pushpa,

Thanks. Welcome to my blog :)
Keep visiting :)

Prathiba said...

@ Deepak,

Thanks a lot :) Happy to get such feedback :)

Sreejith said...

Sorry i couldnt contribute earlier. Read ur story but then forgot abt it :( anyway here is my ending, very different but hope u'll like it.

"She had no clue as to what was in store for them...."

Anand and Aditi couldnt believe their eyes! The idyllic cottage they had seen a few weeks back wasnt to be found. In its place lay the foundations of a huge structure. By the looks of the building Anand(smart that he is :P) guessed that it had to be some sort of factory of some major corporation.

Aditi was speechless at the sight of the building. The structure had imposed itself on the natural surroundings. The serene atmosphere which was present before was now a scene of cacophony! The wastes of the soon to be operational factory were flowing into the beach polluting it. There was dust all around and she felt nauseous because of the exhaust from the machines around her.

Anand and Aditi turned back home. The effects of industrialization were all too visible on their faces. None of them spoke anything on their way back home.

A few weeks later... Anand and Aditi started an environmental awareness forum. They worked tirelessly to promote enivironmental issues and raise social awareness about them. Today its called "greenpeace" :)

Prathiba said...

@ Sreejith,

Hey nice climax. Yep totally unexpected as you claimed . Never thought about it in this angle :)
Hmm next time i wirte a story will think in diff angles.. :)

Bindu Vijayakumar said...

Hi prathiba,

Real cool ending to the story, just got to read your blogs....

nice work..keep it up