Hurt

Hi All,

Just realized that being blamed for something that was not under your control is the worst that could happen to anyone. I have always made this stupid mistake of keeping quiet when I am blamed for something I hadn't done - I had suffered for this a lot during the past few months. Yesterday I decided it was not the right way and that I have to defend myself and yes it proved costly. 

Not only did I give the impression that I am angry, callous and cannot take responsibility, but yeah as someone who doesn't give up till she's made her point. As a person with whom "It is better to let me have my way than argue with me". It hurts - really really hurts. To my conscience I know I hadn't done anything wrong to have deserved this - and if others beg to differ I want to know the reason. If the reason is not justified - I want to have my say. Being pardoned without being accepted is not something I can digest. Don't want apologies that aren't meant or blame that isn't justified.

Sometimes when pride is hurt, it takes long to heal. :( Wish I was different, but too late now. 

CIAO.

  

Whattowriteabout

Hey All,

I am surprised!!!

Most of blogs that I have written seem to allude to music which reflects my mood at that reference point in time. I am wondering on the effect of music on moods. Seem to be a really good research topic. Probably should start working on it. 

Coming to the surprising portion - I seem to find a song for every single mood of mine and I am very temperamental with a multitude of mood swings. Be it being loneliness, sorrow, piousness, happiness, anger, frustation, pity, childishness, sacrifice, more than i can describe. More surprising are the songs themselves. They seem to capture the words in your heart, leaving you wondering "was this written for me - just for me?" Sounds too good to be true that there are other people experiencing the same emotion in the same manner as ourselves. Reinforces the concept of collective identity. We experience mostly the same emotions in our lives - just the chain of events that led might be unique in each case. 

Collective identity - what does it really imply for all of us? How come nations are classified based on their individualistic/ collectivistic quotient of Hofstede if we are all more alike than different? 

Maybe it is not emoitons but it is our choices makes us different - the way we choose to live and the factors that decide the way we choose what we chose makes the difference. Our decisions drive us and we drive our decisions!!! I remember this famous line from some book - never regret something that made you smile. Wat a nice way to move on and forgive !!!

Too bad - after long I decide to make a post but have got to go - greater things in life calling - have to answer :)

CIAO (with a completed post)

Course Crisis

Hi All,

The start of every elective term has been the same - is this right? is there something better that I can do? I am mistaken? forget credit crisis, welcome to the world of course crisis. 

There are few good courses which I feel will be some value appropriation to the investment in ISB - but the amount of time investment for "learning" the course makes me think twice

There are other courses that are entertaining and worth sitting in the class for - but not much value addition.

There are few other courses which are a complete waste of time - but make life easy. 

So there is the classis dilemma - amongst what's good, what's easy and what's entertaining. 

Therefore the year starts this way. Not sure whether I ought to go with the good courses I had taken this term. Will decide after sampling the courses - which is actually unlike me - usually stick with the courses I had taken initially. Yeah, times are changing and sometimes we need to change and let go of what we wanted because that's not good for us. 

Faced with a plethora of choices find it really difficult - lets see how it turns out. 

CIAO. 

P.S. Thats my 70th post :) and the first post in 2009. 

 

True strength comes from within

Hi All,

On a whim went to my cousin D's place for dinner. It was truly transformational experience. 

Met D's sister S. She is truly a remarkable woman. She is just two years older than me, yet she is so mature. (Got two kids, aged- 11 and 6), been married for 12 years. 

She recently lost her mother and her husband. Yet she is so strong. The fact that she loved them more than anything else in life was so evident. The way she fondly recalled every single moment of her life with her husband was so touching. Yet she didn't cry. She must been through so much pain, yet she wants to take life to the next level for the sake of her children. I wonder how many can ever be like her, to think of what needs to be done in the face of adversity. I have no words to describe what this phenomenal woman is. I am not old enough to bless you dear, but I hope and pray that for all the pain you have been through, God showers you with great happiness from now on. D's is equally sweet. I am proud to be associated with them. 

The fact that she was so bold in the face of the most adverse situation in her life was so very touching. I salute you S. You are truly a source of energy. I drew so much strength from you. 

If there's anything I can ever do for you, I will gladly do. Relating this to the recent events in my life, I feel really cowardly. After seeing her, I feel God truly has given me the strength to go on. 

Feeling really touched. Good times are really back again. At the least I feel I have the courage to face anything that comes my way from now on. 

CIAO.

Saved :)

Thank goodness. God saved me :) He has always looked after me and will continue to do so always too. It is great when you feel the invisible hand helping you always. 

Thank you God for saving me. Thank you for being so considerate and not letting harm come my way. Thank you for all the good things and thank you for not letting the bad things continue. 

... lost in melody

Hi All,

Might sound cliched, but I can't help being lost in the sweetness of the voices of Unnikrishnan and Bombay Jayashree. 

All of Unni and Jayashree's songs are truly amazing. Sample this song from Iruvar - Narumugayae. A.R.Rahman has brought the best of both in this particular song. No wonder even after years(!!!) this song still remains one of my favorites. Not the fad type favorite, but the forever favorite type. 

On a side note: Was researching for a project and came across a paper published by my Prof. Naresh Malhotra. It is not surprising and many papers/ projects/ articles have been published by many of the professors who have taught me so far. Still feeling glad when I think about it. I could always say with pretended nonchalance when I pass out of this place - "Oh that prof taught us this course" :) I am really glad to be here despite the horrendous time I have had here. 

Got to get back to the project (and of course to youtube and naruto). 

CIAO. 

First publication

Hi All,

My poem got published :) Well it was published only in the SFA magazine of ISB. Still feeling happy to see my words in print :) Something to cheer in troubled times. 

It is an old poem, Utopia, which I had posted about a year back in the blog. 

Glad again :)

Thank you all.

CIAO.