Back in time

Hello 

After many years am posting today. 

Today was memorable in many sense - had a colleague who is a casual acquaintance leaving the company today. The bunch of freshers who had joined along with her had pulled all stops to give her a very memorable farewell. Right from shooting a video featuring all our team members to getting personalized messages for her - it was nice to see it all and participate in the moment with them

Yes - it did take me back to the time when I quit my first job to pursue masters. 

It did take me back to the moments when I basked in the warmth of friendship

It did take me back to re-live some of the moments which led to tears of joy. 

After marriage I have hardly met any of my friends or have had the long phone calls which I used to cherish. V, B, D & J - in case you are reading this, I miss you guys and love you folks. Miss the multi-hour phone calls where we talked about anything & everything in life. Miss hanging out with you on Saturdays on Sundays. 

Priorities change and I love all the moments with my husband and kid. But some part of my heart selfishly yearns for one day of the my old life where I can just the do the things I used to do back then. Striking a balance and finding time for myself seems a challenge. Hope to rearrange my life and make time for the most important things soon Good luck to myself in my quest to balance life, work, family, friends and my selfish desires. 

CIAO 

Haven't blogged in the last 18 months

Seriously, it is very hard to imagine that I haven't posted for the last 18 months.

Lots of things changed and lots of new addictions. Surprised to find myself at a loss of words when I want to post something. Maybe it is just conditioning.

Maybe the mind and thus the stimulus to work on something goes away if you have been away from the said thing for long. Maybe that's why they say, "Out of sight, out of mind".

What's really interesting is once you focus on things again, it all just comes back to you. Like a treasure trove waiting to be opened after long.

Other activities in my life overtook my passion for blogging and now it is time to get back.

Hoping to post more often.

Pratz.

A life of Crime

Hi All,

I never thought even in my wildest imagination that I would live a life of crime and worse - revel in it.

Here goes - I admit it. I am a crime lord!!!

Before you decide to dial to 100 - there's something you need to know. I lead a life of crime in Mafia wars. The facebook app rage that has millions succumbing to their baser need to destruct others. Its online, highly addictive and occupies most of the time I have for myself.

Thinking back I realize that I have been addicted to so many things and then typical of all fads, they faded out with time - only exception being books.

I am addicted to books when I am not addicted to anything else - sort of like the craving one has for home food when he/she had enough Continental, Mexican, Chinese to last a lifetime. Books - I can read anytime and once I start I usually don't stop till I finish all books of the author at a stretch or at the least all the books I can lay hands on. Have this on/off relationship with books and music. They are there when I am not interested in anything else. They are there even if I am interested in everything else. They are there when I am interested in only those. In short they are there, pretty much - always.

Thinking back, my first passion was science. With the help of my brother used to build turbines (unsuccessfully), try out all science experiments (must have broken a bottle or two), and have neighbouring kids from school help out with the apparatus set-up (used to ask the teacher to order the students to help - LOL!!!).

My next passion was dramatics and oration - used to attend every competition at school without fail (was an excellent way to bunk school. In X1th Standard the number of days outside school was greater than the number of days in class)

Then came craziness for songs, especially English numbers - guess I was trying to show off at that time when the number of satellite connection were few and MTV was yet to become an essential entity of youth.

F1 racing - my brothers' were addicted to it, and hence by virtue of viewing non-stop F1, week after week, became addicted.

Football (98 world Cup) - same as above

Bracelets - bought a bracelet for every dress I owned and I happened to be owning a lot many dresses at that point in time.

Bangles - same as above

Clothes - always and continuing

Harry Potter - from 2003 to 2007 (From the time I read the first book, till the time the last book was released)

Ayn Rand - from the last year of college

Math puzzles - same as above

Office work - during the golden period at Verizon

Blogging - during 2005/ 2006

Naruto - from 2007

Animations - from 2006, credit goes to the first anime I watched - Samurai - X

Dancing - from 2008, CGT (credit goes to) ISB parties

Pani poori noodles - from 2008, CGT ISB lifestyle

Facebooking - from 2009, CGT ISB

"How I met your mother" sitcom addiction - same as above

Movie watching - CGT boring evenings in Ludhiana

Mafia wars - same as above

Adventure tourism - last few weeks, CGT few crazy people I know from current workplace

Laptop addiction - ever since my brother gifted it to me. (If there's one thing I truly can't live without, it is, without any doubt my laptop. )

I wonder how long will it be before I return to books from Mafia wars. Don't know and don't care as long as I have something to occupy my boredom. So while I am out there satisfying my baser needs by looting, robbing, killing, mugging, thieving through Mafia wars application, watch out for regular updates about universe, life and everything else that captures my mind at that instant in my blog.

Later. Till the next time.

CIAO.

Change

Hi All,

There's a famous saying - "Change is the only thing which is permanent". I totally agree with the statement, but a recent happening makes me muse over the statement; while so many aspects of my life has changed, I am astounded that I am still the same person with the same thoughts I had few years ago. I was going through my old posts and it was surprise that, almost of my opinions back then hold true even today.

Reflecting on it a little makes me wonder whether I am un-adaptable or inflexible. Maybe the opinions make me the person I am right now and is in fact my identity. Identities can't change by definition, for it did it would cease to be an identity. One can't have multiple identities, and the uniqueness is gone if multiple reasoning are given for the same entity. It would then be self- defeating for it would contradict what you stand for and at some point the credibility is lost.

If this is so, why is change the only thing that's permanent? Maybe the external aspects such as outlook, lifestyle, features, behaviour, experiences are in agreement with the statement; whereas belief, faith, inner conviction, "the person who experiences", ought to be the same. Strange as it may seem, this is the time of life I would never get back - the chance to experiment. "Should I" or "Shouldn't I" battle is still on. Will have to wait and see how things pan out.

2009 has been by far, the most happening year of my life. Appa passed away, anna is about to be married, job searches, graduating from a school of my dreams, realizing my life long ambition to do a Master of Business Administration course, 3 month stint in manufacturing, living alone for the first time in my entire life, the yearning to go on tours - especially trekking and water - rafting, getting closer with the 4 most important people in my life outside family - B, J, D & V, forming new friendships, first time working as a manager responsible for people who report to me, living in a place which feels as though I stepped a decade back in time, getting introduced to a new genre of books which led to speed reading and crazy nights burning oil for reading books, long conversations with the people whom I love and respect, more time for myself, Sunday movie watching ritual, facebooking, twittering, everything is new - but everything expected of the me an year ago. Everything's changed, yet in a way nothing did.

I am wondering what difference does it make? Just wondering - not attempting to find a solution. Wondering whats in store - would there be another year that would make me eat my words and say - "this year superseded 2009". One can never say and one can never be sure. Living for the moment I realized is the best way to be and not regretting anything that makes me happy has led to bold decision making. I am happy - even if happiness is short lived.

With all conviction that whatever happens happens for good, I await new experiences that will shape the thoughts that I have currently and pave way for the new thoughts to formulate. This is probably auto-biographical, but someday when I peruse my old posts, I would be happy to have recorded this moment as this post is a reflection of my previous posts, and an indication of the posts to come.

Dedicated to the future me and the future us. Till the next time.

CIAO.

Random

Hi All,

Random? Or is it so? Felt like writing about few odd topics I came across during the day :) 

1) Randomness - article of the day in thefreedictionary. 

2) On a whim clicked random (was it?) article link in wikihow and this was random order of articles.

1) Double your salary using an algebraic loophole :) - Funny anyone thought the math could fool

2) How to collect business reply mail and similar postcards - Really funny/silly - especially the warning section. 

3) How to hide from your sister - he!!! he!!! point 7 applies to me. So "bros" of the world - you can run but you can't hide. 

4) How to make cranberry sauce - finally something that's useful - i am of course discounting the fact that I may never make it, but as most other self-proclaimed chefs like to know the recipe :D

5) How to make a soda bottle volcano - this experiment was widely circulated through email, but the video's good :)

6) How to manage wikihow while on a heavy school schedule - hmmm!!! this does get addictive

7) How to get lite - reminds me of ISB parties :(

8) How to learn Spanish (Sticky note method) - whoa!!! never knew learning a language was so easy. Needn't have wasted on the french course, which I didn't attend, last year

9) How to gently dump a "clingy" friend - really mean :( :( 

10) How to preform a simple leap over stairs - the only thing that comes to my mind is that the people contributing to those articles were as jobless as the person writing this article :D

Food for thought - wonder why we call this sequencing random while evidently they have been programmed

Beverage for thought 'coz you already had food - wonder how I happened to read the article on Randomness and then unintentionally of course start a random article spree. Maybe randomness is not quite err.... random. 

By the way didn't explain how I ended up reading the first wikihow article.  It was the random article after I googled on "how to keep your house cool without air conditioning". For all Chennaiites - it is quite simple and common sensical, but google search just "puts things in perspective:. he he :)

That's' all folks. Meet you some other time. 

CIAO. 

Cooking is Common Sense

Hi All, 

Disclaimer: I claim to be a great cook (only) because I believe that C is CS (cooking is common sense)

Stereotypes don't apply here. I mean it - the length and breadth of the vegetables don't determine the taste and essence of Sambar. I hate it when people claim they can't cook something because some ingredient is not available. Well it just means use CS to improvise.  If one doesn't have chickpeas for making channa masala use groundnut. Taste better and tastes different too. 

According to my granny the key to being a great chef is the ability to correctly identify what is wrong with the dish.  I remember her  saying this long ago - "as long as the salt and chilli are in right proportions everything else doesn't matter". I completely agree -well, that is unless you are making sweets - because sweets are the only exception to Granny's law of elementary cooking (straight off from food is the one of the 5 exceptions to Gamp's law of elementary transfiguration - courtesy HP and the DH)

To me, cooking is about common sense - just like you understand fire is hot - so is "too much pepper." Anything can be remedied by adding / reducing certain other ingredients on the recipe. It might taste different  but it doesn't matter as long as it tastes good and hey if it turns out to be totally different from what you intended to make you get to name a new recipe :) (This is the secret to my paneer korma - it  was initially meant to be panner butter masala :D) 

You might be wondering this totally off the mark post unrelated to my usual ramblings - been experimenting with cooking of course and hence C is CS. 

CIAO

Why?

Hi All,

If only all the "why's?" were answered...

life would have been simpler, easier and unexciting

CIAO

Hurt

Hi All,

Just realized that being blamed for something that was not under your control is the worst that could happen to anyone. I have always made this stupid mistake of keeping quiet when I am blamed for something I hadn't done - I had suffered for this a lot during the past few months. Yesterday I decided it was not the right way and that I have to defend myself and yes it proved costly. 

Not only did I give the impression that I am angry, callous and cannot take responsibility, but yeah as someone who doesn't give up till she's made her point. As a person with whom "It is better to let me have my way than argue with me". It hurts - really really hurts. To my conscience I know I hadn't done anything wrong to have deserved this - and if others beg to differ I want to know the reason. If the reason is not justified - I want to have my say. Being pardoned without being accepted is not something I can digest. Don't want apologies that aren't meant or blame that isn't justified.

Sometimes when pride is hurt, it takes long to heal. :( Wish I was different, but too late now. 

CIAO.

  

Whattowriteabout

Hey All,

I am surprised!!!

Most of blogs that I have written seem to allude to music which reflects my mood at that reference point in time. I am wondering on the effect of music on moods. Seem to be a really good research topic. Probably should start working on it. 

Coming to the surprising portion - I seem to find a song for every single mood of mine and I am very temperamental with a multitude of mood swings. Be it being loneliness, sorrow, piousness, happiness, anger, frustation, pity, childishness, sacrifice, more than i can describe. More surprising are the songs themselves. They seem to capture the words in your heart, leaving you wondering "was this written for me - just for me?" Sounds too good to be true that there are other people experiencing the same emotion in the same manner as ourselves. Reinforces the concept of collective identity. We experience mostly the same emotions in our lives - just the chain of events that led might be unique in each case. 

Collective identity - what does it really imply for all of us? How come nations are classified based on their individualistic/ collectivistic quotient of Hofstede if we are all more alike than different? 

Maybe it is not emoitons but it is our choices makes us different - the way we choose to live and the factors that decide the way we choose what we chose makes the difference. Our decisions drive us and we drive our decisions!!! I remember this famous line from some book - never regret something that made you smile. Wat a nice way to move on and forgive !!!

Too bad - after long I decide to make a post but have got to go - greater things in life calling - have to answer :)

CIAO (with a completed post)

Course Crisis

Hi All,

The start of every elective term has been the same - is this right? is there something better that I can do? I am mistaken? forget credit crisis, welcome to the world of course crisis. 

There are few good courses which I feel will be some value appropriation to the investment in ISB - but the amount of time investment for "learning" the course makes me think twice

There are other courses that are entertaining and worth sitting in the class for - but not much value addition.

There are few other courses which are a complete waste of time - but make life easy. 

So there is the classis dilemma - amongst what's good, what's easy and what's entertaining. 

Therefore the year starts this way. Not sure whether I ought to go with the good courses I had taken this term. Will decide after sampling the courses - which is actually unlike me - usually stick with the courses I had taken initially. Yeah, times are changing and sometimes we need to change and let go of what we wanted because that's not good for us. 

Faced with a plethora of choices find it really difficult - lets see how it turns out. 

CIAO. 

P.S. Thats my 70th post :) and the first post in 2009. 

 

True strength comes from within

Hi All,

On a whim went to my cousin D's place for dinner. It was truly transformational experience. 

Met D's sister S. She is truly a remarkable woman. She is just two years older than me, yet she is so mature. (Got two kids, aged- 11 and 6), been married for 12 years. 

She recently lost her mother and her husband. Yet she is so strong. The fact that she loved them more than anything else in life was so evident. The way she fondly recalled every single moment of her life with her husband was so touching. Yet she didn't cry. She must been through so much pain, yet she wants to take life to the next level for the sake of her children. I wonder how many can ever be like her, to think of what needs to be done in the face of adversity. I have no words to describe what this phenomenal woman is. I am not old enough to bless you dear, but I hope and pray that for all the pain you have been through, God showers you with great happiness from now on. D's is equally sweet. I am proud to be associated with them. 

The fact that she was so bold in the face of the most adverse situation in her life was so very touching. I salute you S. You are truly a source of energy. I drew so much strength from you. 

If there's anything I can ever do for you, I will gladly do. Relating this to the recent events in my life, I feel really cowardly. After seeing her, I feel God truly has given me the strength to go on. 

Feeling really touched. Good times are really back again. At the least I feel I have the courage to face anything that comes my way from now on. 

CIAO.

Saved :)

Thank goodness. God saved me :) He has always looked after me and will continue to do so always too. It is great when you feel the invisible hand helping you always. 

Thank you God for saving me. Thank you for being so considerate and not letting harm come my way. Thank you for all the good things and thank you for not letting the bad things continue. 

... lost in melody

Hi All,

Might sound cliched, but I can't help being lost in the sweetness of the voices of Unnikrishnan and Bombay Jayashree. 

All of Unni and Jayashree's songs are truly amazing. Sample this song from Iruvar - Narumugayae. A.R.Rahman has brought the best of both in this particular song. No wonder even after years(!!!) this song still remains one of my favorites. Not the fad type favorite, but the forever favorite type. 

On a side note: Was researching for a project and came across a paper published by my Prof. Naresh Malhotra. It is not surprising and many papers/ projects/ articles have been published by many of the professors who have taught me so far. Still feeling glad when I think about it. I could always say with pretended nonchalance when I pass out of this place - "Oh that prof taught us this course" :) I am really glad to be here despite the horrendous time I have had here. 

Got to get back to the project (and of course to youtube and naruto). 

CIAO. 

First publication

Hi All,

My poem got published :) Well it was published only in the SFA magazine of ISB. Still feeling happy to see my words in print :) Something to cheer in troubled times. 

It is an old poem, Utopia, which I had posted about a year back in the blog. 

Glad again :)

Thank you all.

CIAO.

All of us are Indians - says Supreme Court

View the full article here All of us are Indians

Empathy

I am able to emphatize with A. I can see the pain the person is going through and wish I could say, dude, people have been there before and in a far worser state. Don't give a damn. But unfortunately the person is oblivious and is bearing the pain. I wish I could console, but I know any amount of sympathy/ empathy/ from a third person will only add to the person's woes. So I am keeping silent. Wish C had more sense and would at least be more sensitive to the feelings of A. 

But C is also like L. Ditto. Similar. But In the end it doesn't even matter. We are what we are irrespective of what we try to do for others. 

So long and thanks for all the fish

Hi All,

I love to listen to this song when I am happy. Makes me jump from my chair and dance to the tune. 

As the book says, the answer to universe, life and everything is 42 :) What is the question? 

Well that would involve "making" another earth to find the answer as the current earth was demolished as it was blocking the inter galactic pathway. 

I know I am not making any sense, but that in short is the crux of the "Hitch Hiker's Guide to Galaxy". An amazing read and one must definitely try it, at the least to laugh ourselves to death.  

Side note: Really happy today. Got all the courses I had bid for. Sad part: at what cost? - about 1700 points. Sob sob!!! Corporate control mergers and acquisition at 707 points :( 

Can you believe that? :( 

Anyway have to be glad that I got the courses I bid for and I am happyyyyyyyyyy. 

Got to prepare and send a document before 12 Midnight. Getting back to work. 

Before I finish - a very happy diwali to all :)

Till we meet next. 

CIAO.

It doesn't even matter

Hi All,

Felt like posting the lyrics of linkin park's "It doesn't even matter".

(It starts with)

One thing / I don’t know why

It doesn’t even matter how hard you try

Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme

To explain in due time

All I know

time is a valuable thing

Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings

Watch it count down to the end of the day

The clock ticks life away

It’s so unreal

Didn’t look out below

Watch the time go right out the window

Trying to hold on / but didn’t even know

Wasted it all just to

Watch you go

I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart

What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard

And got so far

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

I had to fall

To lose it all

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

One thing / I don’t know why

It doesn’t even matter how hard you try

Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme

To remind myself how

I tried so hard

In spite of the way you were mocking me

Acting like I was part of your property

Remembering all the times you fought with me

I’m surprised it got so (far)

Things aren’t the way they were before

You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore

Not that you knew me back then

But it all comes back to me

In the end

You kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart

What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard

And got so far

But in the end

It doesn’t even matter

I had to fall

To lose it all

But in the end

It doesn’t even matter

I've put my trust in you

Pushed as far as I can go

For all this

There’s only one thing you should know

I've put my trust in you

Pushed as far as I can go

For all this

There’s only one thing you should know

I tried so hard

And got so far

But in the end

It doesn’t even matter

I had to fall

To lose it all

But in the end

It doesn’t even matter

This is the first time I have posted twice in a day. Like this song a lot. Relieves tension - helps vent irritation/ frustation. Best medicine for frustation - listening to "It doesn't even matter" followed by "Kurai ondrum illai" by M.S.Subbulakshmi amma. Really there can be nothing else  (IMHO) better than this combination.

CIAO

I am my competitor

Hi All,

No!!! Please don't get the wrong picture. I am not that conceited. Its just that only two teams were selected from ISB for the IIT-Roorkee Samadhan contest. Guess what? - I am part of both the teams. I am competing against myself. :) 

To be honest, I want one team to win more than the other. I really hope the results would turn in the favor of the team I am favoring, even if it means putting in extra hours of work for making that happen I don't care. I might seem partial and I am too - but can't help being so. (At the least I am truthful about it). 

In fact the irony is that, I had contributed more to the other team and had worked harder/longer on the other executive summary. Yet some things can't be explained and this is one such thing that has no rationale behind it. My fate is intertwined with my life. 

Well that makes the total shortlist count so far as 3. Not bad - not bad at all :)

Have to run to class right now. Will make a post sometime later.

CIAO.

Study groups and group projects

Hi All,

Making this post on a very happy note. Initially I almost thought of dropping out of "marketing services" course, but really glad that I held on to it, despite my intial apprehensions. 

For many reasons.

1) Professor is really good. It is the only class I attend with zero hours of sleep yet end up being awake for the entire session (exception being Negotiation Analysis class - but well I can't really afford to fall asleep during one-one negotiations, so I am discounting that subject). It might also be due to the fact that I sit in the first row right in front of the professor. Forget all the other reasons I am stating - prof is good. Period. 

2) I hadn't formed a study group till the 11th hour (Literally) as I thought I would drop the course and take some other interesting course.  Other groups were already formed and I thought I would end up being an orphaned child. Sob!!! sob!!! Thank goodness R misunderstood that I wanted to form a group for Business Valuation and replied to my panicky mail. I asked whether he had a empty slot in marketing services and he did. Thank God for that.  I found a group.

3) I really feel comfortable with the group. Be it R/RJ/ J/ K/ M. I feel non-threatened. Surprisingly I feel really valued. Just now J made the statement that he is really glad that I am on the team. :) Of course the fact that R & K reinforced his statement made me feel even better. Only thing is that, I have to live up to their expectations and not let them down. The fact that they trust me makes me so very happy, as it is very difficult to build trust and trust if broken - very difficult to repair. 

4) Feel like really contributing to the group - it is a nice group and as diverse as it can get. Good thing is that we will part ways in a month, so hopefully there'll be fewer chances for any disputes to arise.

5) J and R said they'll want to form teams with me in any other course that I am undertaking.

After the last week's episode I guess this is the best-est thing that could have happened to me. Still doesn't change a lot of things (infact changes nothing) about what I want/ need in life. But as I have always maintained "kutti" things in life, make or mar my happiness. 

6) Hmmm really thinking whether I should write a sixth point. 

So thats it for now folks. hope to see you all again real soon. 

Till we meet next. 

CIAO.