tides&tidings

Haven't blogged in the last 18 months

2011-03-28T16:37:00.002+05:30

Seriously, it is very hard to imagine that I haven't posted for the last 18 months.

Lots of things changed and lots of new addictions. Surprised to find myself at a loss of words when I want to post something. Maybe it is just conditioning.

Maybe the mind and thus the stimulus to work on something goes away if you have been away from the said thing for long. Maybe that's why they say, "Out of sight, out of mind".

What's really interesting is once you focus on things again, it all just comes back to you. Like a treasure trove waiting to be opened after long.

Other activities in my life overtook my passion for blogging and now it is time to get back.

Hoping to post more often.

Pratz.

A life of Crime

2009-09-11T08:51:00.007+05:30

Hi All,

I never thought even in my wildest imagination that I would live a life of crime and worse - revel in it.

Here goes - I admit it. I am a crime lord!!!

Before you decide to dial to 100 - there's something you need to know. I lead a life of crime in Mafia wars. The facebook app rage that has millions succumbing to their baser need to destruct others. Its online, highly addictive and occupies most of the time I have for myself.

Thinking back I realize that I have been addicted to so many things and then typical of all fads, they faded out with time - only exception being books.

I am addicted to books when I am not addicted to anything else - sort of like the craving one has for home food when he/she had enough Continental, Mexican, Chinese to last a lifetime. Books - I can read anytime and once I start I usually don't stop till I finish all books of the author at a stretch or at the least all the books I can lay hands on. Have this on/off relationship with books and music. They are there when I am not interested in anything else. They are there even if I am interested in everything else. They are there when I am interested in only those. In short they are there, pretty much - always.

Thinking back, my first passion was science. With the help of my brother used to build turbines (unsuccessfully), try out all science experiments (must have broken a bottle or two), and have neighbouring kids from school help out with the apparatus set-up (used to ask the teacher to order the students to help - LOL!!!).

My next passion was dramatics and oration - used to attend every competition at school without fail (was an excellent way to bunk school. In X1th Standard the number of days outside school was greater than the number of days in class)

Then came craziness for songs, especially English numbers - guess I was trying to show off at that time when the number of satellite connection were few and MTV was yet to become an essential entity of youth.

F1 racing - my brothers' were addicted to it, and hence by virtue of viewing non-stop F1, week after week, became addicted.

Football (98 world Cup) - same as above

Bracelets - bought a bracelet for every dress I owned and I happened to be owning a lot many dresses at that point in time.

Bangles - same as above

Clothes - always and continuing

Harry Potter - from 2003 to 2007 (From the time I read the first book, till the time the last book was released)

Ayn Rand - from the last year of college

Math puzzles - same as above

Office work - during the golden period at Verizon

Blogging - during 2005/ 2006

Naruto - from 2007

Animations - from 2006, credit goes to the first anime I watched - Samurai - X

Dancing - from 2008, CGT (credit goes to) ISB parties

Pani poori noodles - from 2008, CGT ISB lifestyle

Facebooking - from 2009, CGT ISB

"How I met your mother" sitcom addiction - same as above

Movie watching - CGT boring evenings in Ludhiana

Mafia wars - same as above

Adventure tourism - last few weeks, CGT few crazy people I know from current workplace

Laptop addiction - ever since my brother gifted it to me. (If there's one thing I truly can't live without, it is, without any doubt my laptop. )

I wonder how long will it be before I return to books from Mafia wars. Don't know and don't care as long as I have something to occupy my boredom. So while I am out there satisfying my baser needs by looting, robbing, killing, mugging, thieving through Mafia wars application, watch out for regular updates about universe, life and everything else that captures my mind at that instant in my blog.

Later. Till the next time.

CIAO.

Change

2009-09-09T16:14:00.006+05:30

Hi All,

There's a famous saying - "Change is the only thing which is permanent". I totally agree with the statement, but a recent happening makes me muse over the statement; while so many aspects of my life has changed, I am astounded that I am still the same person with the same thoughts I had few years ago. I was going through my old posts and it was surprise that, almost of my opinions back then hold true even today.

Reflecting on it a little makes me wonder whether I am un-adaptable or inflexible. Maybe the opinions make me the person I am right now and is in fact my identity. Identities can't change by definition, for it did it would cease to be an identity. One can't have multiple identities, and the uniqueness is gone if multiple reasoning are given for the same entity. It would then be self- defeating for it would contradict what you stand for and at some point the credibility is lost.

If this is so, why is change the only thing that's permanent? Maybe the external aspects such as outlook, lifestyle, features, behaviour, experiences are in agreement with the statement; whereas belief, faith, inner conviction, "the person who experiences", ought to be the same. Strange as it may seem, this is the time of life I would never get back - the chance to experiment. "Should I" or "Shouldn't I" battle is still on. Will have to wait and see how things pan out.

2009 has been by far, the most happening year of my life. Appa passed away, anna is about to be married, job searches, graduating from a school of my dreams, realizing my life long ambition to do a Master of Business Administration course, 3 month stint in manufacturing, living alone for the first time in my entire life, the yearning to go on tours - especially trekking and water - rafting, getting closer with the 4 most important people in my life outside family - B, J, D & V, forming new friendships, first time working as a manager responsible for people who report to me, living in a place which feels as though I stepped a decade back in time, getting introduced to a new genre of books which led to speed reading and crazy nights burning oil for reading books, long conversations with the people whom I love and respect, more time for myself, Sunday movie watching ritual, facebooking, twittering, everything is new - but everything expected of the me an year ago. Everything's changed, yet in a way nothing did.

I am wondering what difference does it make? Just wondering - not attempting to find a solution. Wondering whats in store - would there be another year that would make me eat my words and say - "this year superseded 2009". One can never say and one can never be sure. Living for the moment I realized is the best way to be and not regretting anything that makes me happy has led to bold decision making. I am happy - even if happiness is short lived.

With all conviction that whatever happens happens for good, I await new experiences that will shape the thoughts that I have currently and pave way for the new thoughts to formulate. This is probably auto-biographical, but someday when I peruse my old posts, I would be happy to have recorded this moment as this post is a reflection of my previous posts, and an indication of the posts to come.

Dedicated to the future me and the future us. Till the next time.

CIAO.

Random

2009-05-10T01:23:00.002+05:30

Hi All,

Random? Or is it so? Felt like writing about few odd topics I came across during the day :)

1) Randomness - article of the day in thefreedictionary.

2) On a whim clicked random (was it?) article link in wikihow and this was random order of articles.

1) Double your salary using an algebraic loophole :) - Funny anyone thought the math could fool

2) How to collect business reply mail and similar postcards - Really funny/silly - especially the warning section.

3) How to hide from your sister - he!!! he!!! point 7 applies to me. So "bros" of the world - you can run but you can't hide.

4) How to make cranberry sauce - finally something that's useful - i am of course discounting the fact that I may never make it, but as most other self-proclaimed chefs like to know the recipe :D

5) How to make a soda bottle volcano - this experiment was widely circulated through email, but the video's good :)

6) How to manage wikihow while on a heavy school schedule - hmmm!!! this does get addictive

7) How to get lite - reminds me of ISB parties :(

8) How to learn Spanish (Sticky note method) - whoa!!! never knew learning a language was so easy. Needn't have wasted on the french course, which I didn't attend, last year

9) How to gently dump a "clingy" friend - really mean :( :(

10) How to preform a simple leap over stairs - the only thing that comes to my mind is that the people contributing to those articles were as jobless as the person writing this article :D

Food for thought - wonder why we call this sequencing random while evidently they have been programmed

Beverage for thought 'coz you already had food - wonder how I happened to read the article on Randomness and then unintentionally of course start a random article spree. Maybe randomness is not quite err.... random.

By the way didn't explain how I ended up reading the first wikihow article. It was the random article after I googled on "how to keep your house cool without air conditioning". For all Chennaiites - it is quite simple and common sensical, but google search just "puts things in perspective:. he he :)

That's' all folks. Meet you some other time.

CIAO.

Cooking is Common Sense

2009-04-27T00:03:00.005+05:30

Hi All,

Disclaimer: I claim to be a great cook (only) because I believe that C is CS (cooking is common sense)

Stereotypes don't apply here. I mean it - the length and breadth of the vegetables don't determine the taste and essence of Sambar. I hate it when people claim they can't cook something because some ingredient is not available. Well it just means use CS to improvise. If one doesn't have chickpeas for making channa masala use groundnut. Taste better and tastes different too.

According to my granny the key to being a great chef is the ability to correctly identify what is wrong with the dish. I remember her saying this long ago - "as long as the salt and chilli are in right proportions everything else doesn't matter". I completely agree -well, that is unless you are making sweets - because sweets are the only exception to Granny's law of elementary cooking (straight off from food is the one of the 5 exceptions to Gamp's law of elementary transfiguration - courtesy HP and the DH)

To me, cooking is about common sense - just like you understand fire is hot - so is "too much pepper." Anything can be remedied by adding / reducing certain other ingredients on the recipe. It might taste different but it doesn't matter as long as it tastes good and hey if it turns out to be totally different from what you intended to make you get to name a new recipe :) (This is the secret to my paneer korma - it was initially meant to be panner butter masala :D)

You might be wondering this totally off the mark post unrelated to my usual ramblings - been experimenting with cooking of course and hence C is CS.

CIAO

Why?

2009-03-25T02:58:00.001+05:30

Hi All,

If only all the "why's?" were answered...

life would have been simpler, easier and unexciting

CIAO

Hurt

2009-03-09T22:30:00.003+05:30

Hi All,

Just realized that being blamed for something that was not under your control is the worst that could happen to anyone. I have always made this stupid mistake of keeping quiet when I am blamed for something I hadn't done - I had suffered for this a lot during the past few months. Yesterday I decided it was not the right way and that I have to defend myself and yes it proved costly.

Not only did I give the impression that I am angry, callous and cannot take responsibility, but yeah as someone who doesn't give up till she's made her point. As a person with whom "It is better to let me have my way than argue with me". It hurts - really really hurts. To my conscience I know I hadn't done anything wrong to have deserved this - and if others beg to differ I want to know the reason. If the reason is not justified - I want to have my say. Being pardoned without being accepted is not something I can digest. Don't want apologies that aren't meant or blame that isn't justified.

Sometimes when pride is hurt, it takes long to heal. :( Wish I was different, but too late now.

CIAO.

Whattowriteabout

2009-01-24T00:34:00.002+05:30

Hey All,

I am surprised!!!

Most of blogs that I have written seem to allude to music which reflects my mood at that reference point in time. I am wondering on the effect of music on moods. Seem to be a really good research topic. Probably should start working on it.

Coming to the surprising portion - I seem to find a song for every single mood of mine and I am very temperamental with a multitude of mood swings. Be it being loneliness, sorrow, piousness, happiness, anger, frustation, pity, childishness, sacrifice, more than i can describe. More surprising are the songs themselves. They seem to capture the words in your heart, leaving you wondering "was this written for me - just for me?" Sounds too good to be true that there are other people experiencing the same emotion in the same manner as ourselves. Reinforces the concept of collective identity. We experience mostly the same emotions in our lives - just the chain of events that led might be unique in each case.

Collective identity - what does it really imply for all of us? How come nations are classified based on their individualistic/ collectivistic quotient of Hofstede if we are all more alike than different?

Maybe it is not emoitons but it is our choices makes us different - the way we choose to live and the factors that decide the way we choose what we chose makes the difference. Our decisions drive us and we drive our decisions!!! I remember this famous line from some book - never regret something that made you smile. Wat a nice way to move on and forgive !!!

Too bad - after long I decide to make a post but have got to go - greater things in life calling - have to answer :)

CIAO (with a completed post)

Course Crisis

2009-01-04T12:59:00.003+05:30

Hi All,

The start of every elective term has been the same - is this right? is there something better that I can do? I am mistaken? forget credit crisis, welcome to the world of course crisis.

There are few good courses which I feel will be some value appropriation to the investment in ISB - but the amount of time investment for "learning" the course makes me think twice

There are other courses that are entertaining and worth sitting in the class for - but not much value addition.

There are few other courses which are a complete waste of time - but make life easy.

So there is the classis dilemma - amongst what's good, what's easy and what's entertaining.

Therefore the year starts this way. Not sure whether I ought to go with the good courses I had taken this term. Will decide after sampling the courses - which is actually unlike me - usually stick with the courses I had taken initially. Yeah, times are changing and sometimes we need to change and let go of what we wanted because that's not good for us.

Faced with a plethora of choices find it really difficult - lets see how it turns out.

CIAO.

P.S. Thats my 70th post :) and the first post in 2009.

True strength comes from within

2008-11-15T04:40:00.003+05:30

Hi All,

On a whim went to my cousin D's place for dinner. It was truly transformational experience.

Met D's sister S. She is truly a remarkable woman. She is just two years older than me, yet she is so mature. (Got two kids, aged- 11 and 6), been married for 12 years.

She recently lost her mother and her husband. Yet she is so strong. The fact that she loved them more than anything else in life was so evident. The way she fondly recalled every single moment of her life with her husband was so touching. Yet she didn't cry. She must been through so much pain, yet she wants to take life to the next level for the sake of her children. I wonder how many can ever be like her, to think of what needs to be done in the face of adversity. I have no words to describe what this phenomenal woman is. I am not old enough to bless you dear, but I hope and pray that for all the pain you have been through, God showers you with great happiness from now on. D's is equally sweet. I am proud to be associated with them.

The fact that she was so bold in the face of the most adverse situation in her life was so very touching. I salute you S. You are truly a source of energy. I drew so much strength from you.

If there's anything I can ever do for you, I will gladly do. Relating this to the recent events in my life, I feel really cowardly. After seeing her, I feel God truly has given me the strength to go on.

Feeling really touched. Good times are really back again. At the least I feel I have the courage to face anything that comes my way from now on.

CIAO.

Saved :)

2008-11-09T06:24:00.001+05:30

Thank goodness. God saved me :) He has always looked after me and will continue to do so always too. It is great when you feel the invisible hand helping you always.

Thank you God for saving me. Thank you for being so considerate and not letting harm come my way. Thank you for all the good things and thank you for not letting the bad things continue.

... lost in melody

2008-11-09T02:21:00.002+05:30

Hi All,

Might sound cliched, but I can't help being lost in the sweetness of the voices of Unnikrishnan and Bombay Jayashree.

All of Unni and Jayashree's songs are truly amazing. Sample this song from Iruvar - Narumugayae. A.R.Rahman has brought the best of both in this particular song. No wonder even after years(!!!) this song still remains one of my favorites. Not the fad type favorite, but the forever favorite type.

On a side note: Was researching for a project and came across a paper published by my Prof. Naresh Malhotra. It is not surprising and many papers/ projects/ articles have been published by many of the professors who have taught me so far. Still feeling glad when I think about it. I could always say with pretended nonchalance when I pass out of this place - "Oh that prof taught us this course" :) I am really glad to be here despite the horrendous time I have had here.

Got to get back to the project (and of course to youtube and naruto).

CIAO.

First publication

2008-11-07T17:18:00.003+05:30

Hi All,

My poem got published :) Well it was published only in the SFA magazine of ISB. Still feeling happy to see my words in print :) Something to cheer in troubled times.

It is an old poem, Utopia, which I had posted about a year back in the blog.

Glad again :)

Thank you all.

CIAO.

All of us are Indians - says Supreme Court

2008-11-06T21:00:00.001+05:30

View the full article here All of us are Indians

Empathy

2008-10-29T00:26:00.003+05:30

I am able to emphatize with A. I can see the pain the person is going through and wish I could say, dude, people have been there before and in a far worser state. Don't give a damn. But unfortunately the person is oblivious and is bearing the pain. I wish I could console, but I know any amount of sympathy/ empathy/ from a third person will only add to the person's woes. So I am keeping silent. Wish C had more sense and would at least be more sensitive to the feelings of A.

But C is also like L. Ditto. Similar. But In the end it doesn't even matter. We are what we are irrespective of what we try to do for others.

So long and thanks for all the fish

2008-10-27T20:24:00.003+05:30

Hi All,

I love to listen to this song when I am happy. Makes me jump from my chair and dance to the tune.

As the book says, the answer to universe, life and everything is 42 :) What is the question?

Well that would involve "making" another earth to find the answer as the current earth was demolished as it was blocking the inter galactic pathway.

I know I am not making any sense, but that in short is the crux of the "Hitch Hiker's Guide to Galaxy". An amazing read and one must definitely try it, at the least to laugh ourselves to death.

Side note: Really happy today. Got all the courses I had bid for. Sad part: at what cost? - about 1700 points. Sob sob!!! Corporate control mergers and acquisition at 707 points :(

Can you believe that? :(

Anyway have to be glad that I got the courses I bid for and I am happyyyyyyyyyy.

Got to prepare and send a document before 12 Midnight. Getting back to work.

Before I finish - a very happy diwali to all :)

Till we meet next.

CIAO.

It doesn't even matter

2008-10-23T23:16:00.008+05:30

Hi All,

Felt like posting the lyrics of linkin park's "It doesn't even matter".

(It starts with)

One thing / I don’t know why

It doesn’t even matter how hard you try

Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme

To explain in due time

All I know

time is a valuable thing

Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings

Watch it count down to the end of the day

The clock ticks life away

It’s so unreal

Didn’t look out below

Watch the time go right out the window

Trying to hold on / but didn’t even know

Wasted it all just to

Watch you go

I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart

What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard

And got so far

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

I had to fall

To lose it all

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

One thing / I don’t know why

It doesn’t even matter how hard you try

Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme

To remind myself how

I tried so hard

In spite of the way you were mocking me

Acting like I was part of your property

Remembering all the times you fought with me

I’m surprised it got so (far)

Things aren’t the way they were before

You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore

Not that you knew me back then

But it all comes back to me

In the end

You kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart

What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard

And got so far

But in the end

It doesn’t even matter

I had to fall

To lose it all

But in the end

It doesn’t even matter

I've put my trust in you

Pushed as far as I can go

For all this

There’s only one thing you should know

I've put my trust in you

Pushed as far as I can go

For all this

There’s only one thing you should know

I tried so hard

And got so far

But in the end

It doesn’t even matter

I had to fall

To lose it all

But in the end

It doesn’t even matter

This is the first time I have posted twice in a day. Like this song a lot. Relieves tension - helps vent irritation/ frustation. Best medicine for frustation - listening to "It doesn't even matter" followed by "Kurai ondrum illai" by M.S.Subbulakshmi amma. Really there can be nothing else (IMHO) better than this combination.

CIAO

I am my competitor

2008-10-23T13:01:00.005+05:30

Hi All,

No!!! Please don't get the wrong picture. I am not that conceited. Its just that only two teams were selected from ISB for the IIT-Roorkee Samadhan contest. Guess what? - I am part of both the teams. I am competing against myself. :)

To be honest, I want one team to win more than the other. I really hope the results would turn in the favor of the team I am favoring, even if it means putting in extra hours of work for making that happen I don't care. I might seem partial and I am too - but can't help being so. (At the least I am truthful about it).

In fact the irony is that, I had contributed more to the other team and had worked harder/longer on the other executive summary. Yet some things can't be explained and this is one such thing that has no rationale behind it. My fate is intertwined with my life.

Well that makes the total shortlist count so far as 3. Not bad - not bad at all :)

Have to run to class right now. Will make a post sometime later.

CIAO.

Study groups and group projects

2008-10-20T00:03:00.006+05:30

Hi All,

Making this post on a very happy note. Initially I almost thought of dropping out of "marketing services" course, but really glad that I held on to it, despite my intial apprehensions.

For many reasons.

1) Professor is really good. It is the only class I attend with zero hours of sleep yet end up being awake for the entire session (exception being Negotiation Analysis class - but well I can't really afford to fall asleep during one-one negotiations, so I am discounting that subject). It might also be due to the fact that I sit in the first row right in front of the professor. Forget all the other reasons I am stating - prof is good. Period.

2) I hadn't formed a study group till the 11th hour (Literally) as I thought I would drop the course and take some other interesting course. Other groups were already formed and I thought I would end up being an orphaned child. Sob!!! sob!!! Thank goodness R misunderstood that I wanted to form a group for Business Valuation and replied to my panicky mail. I asked whether he had a empty slot in marketing services and he did. Thank God for that. I found a group.

3) I really feel comfortable with the group. Be it R/RJ/ J/ K/ M. I feel non-threatened. Surprisingly I feel really valued. Just now J made the statement that he is really glad that I am on the team. :) Of course the fact that R & K reinforced his statement made me feel even better. Only thing is that, I have to live up to their expectations and not let them down. The fact that they trust me makes me so very happy, as it is very difficult to build trust and trust if broken - very difficult to repair.

4) Feel like really contributing to the group - it is a nice group and as diverse as it can get. Good thing is that we will part ways in a month, so hopefully there'll be fewer chances for any disputes to arise.

5) J and R said they'll want to form teams with me in any other course that I am undertaking.

After the last week's episode I guess this is the best-est thing that could have happened to me. Still doesn't change a lot of things (infact changes nothing) about what I want/ need in life. But as I have always maintained "kutti" things in life, make or mar my happiness.

6) Hmmm really thinking whether I should write a sixth point.

So thats it for now folks. hope to see you all again real soon.

Till we meet next.

CIAO.

Rise Up - Yves Larock

2008-10-17T02:57:00.004+05:30

Hi All,

Considering the fact that the number of parties have been on the rise at ISB, it might seem no wonder that I have become dance addicted of late. I never knew I had the passion for dancing and it surprises me the most that I do cherish a secret love for dancing!!!

Like everything else in my life - here goes my history of dancing

It was during my 7th standard. We were doing a dasavatharam dance - drama and I was choosen to be one of the dancers. After practising for weeks, one fine day during a rehearsal session my Principal came to over to see how the performance was shaping up. Her only comment about me after watching the dance was - "She is too thin, she will not be able to carry the costume". I was so irritated at her, angry at myself for being thin and disappointed most of all. All my friends knew that I would be dancing and to face their pity was something I could not bear to think about or tolerate.

After that incident I refrained from dancing. Anytime they wanted hordes of dancers to fill the stage I would be picked to participate, else I was mostly left behind. Given these chain of events I never tried to dance and shied away everytime someone asked me to, either in marriages or otherwise. (College bus trips were an exception - nobody dared comment on my style/ lack of it :) )

During my first party at ISB was very shocked to see that people dress up, drink and dance. (Never been to a pub). Got used to seeing people dancing and partying in a few days time (Had three parties during the first week at ISB - courtesy Co2008). I shied away as usual and whenever people asked me to join their group for dancing - politely declined mumbling that I wouldn't want to step on someone's shoes/ toes.

The credit goes to Sindhura's party for initiating the will of fire to dance- that was the time when I realised that I loved jumping around even if I didn't look graceful and got my steps wrong. But the real turning point was the song "rise up". This song is very special to me for many reasons, reasons - unstated and would never ever forget this song in my entire life. This was/is "THE" song that made/ makes me develop the passion/love/whatever for dancing. No party is fulfilling unless they play this particular number.

So thats how my addiction to dancing started. Now there's the dandiya festival tomorrow, we are supposed to dress up in traditional attire (hurray :) :) ) and dandiya dance the night away. Really glad/excited about it. Eagerly waiting for tomorrow.

So this makes third time in a row. Have been posting something everyday for the past three days. hurray!!! hurray!!! Hurray !!!

Got to get back to my books now.

Till the next time.

CIAO.

God exists

2008-10-15T23:51:00.002+05:30

Hi all,

Recently been writing/thinking a lot about God. Mind's inclined towards God right now.

Don't know why and don't care why. Finding inner peace when thoughts turn toward God.

CIAO.

Maanasa Sancharare

2008-10-14T23:57:00.006+05:30

Hi All,

Recently I started listening to perumal songs, its been really long since I listened to/ learnt any "perumal" songs, and the change is really welcome.

Few of the songs I keep listening to everyday(thanks to youtube)

Shri Venteswara Suprabatham

Shri Ganesh Suprabatham

Baja Govindham

Maanasa Sancharare

Sriman Narayana

Kurai ondrum illai by MS Subbulakshmi amma - she's really great.

Bhramamokate

Vara leela gana lola - I learnt this song while at school, I was trying to remember it for really long, the only part I remembered about it was that it is a beautiful song by Unni Krishnan.

Suddenly at 5 AM in the morning remembered the name of the song - immediately googled and found the link in youtube.com. Felt really happy as this song was eluding me for quite sometime now. The world seems a happier place to live in when the answer to something that has been eluding one for so long suddenly pops in to the head. Literally amazing feeling.

Work's as usual at ISB. Ever since elective terms started feeling little lost. Don't have the familiarity of the class, comfort of the people whom I know and worse have to form groups in every elective that I am taking. It is a really difficult task and thank goodness I found groups in three of the four subjects that I am taking. I am not sure about the fourth, will have to wait and watch. Leaving it to God as he knows best what to do and what not to do. I am just doing my duty which is what is essential.

Missing amma, prabhu, prasan, padmasree, ishan (my dearest dearest darling), appa, paati, chitthi and all my friends. Feels as though I have turned over a new leaf and become a completely different person, the person I used to be once upon a time, very long time ago. Mother's are GOD's greatest creation. I know amma will/can never read this, but "mu" I love you. I want to keep you happy all through your life in every way possible.

Forcing myself to blog these days as it keeps me going/ happy. In the long run it will become an habit again :) (Or hoping it will at the least)

Till we meet next

CIAO.

P.S. In case you were wondering why the title reads "Maanasa Sancharare" - that was the song I was listening to when I started making this post :)

Thunderbird

2008-10-12T19:11:00.004+05:30

Hi All,

Just finished the write- up for Thunderbird sustainable innovation summit contest. Phew!!!

Really exhausted by the amount of time/ effort/energy I ended up spending on it. I could have been doing a zillion other things but yeah have to be content that I did finish something.

Part of me wishing that we get selected for the next round (considering the amount of effort I put on this) and part of me wishing "enough is enough". No more work on sustainable development.

Have to read 7 chapters + 2 cases + 3 sets of lecture slides as pre-reads for tomorrow's lectures. Gosh I would be glad if I complete at least one subject. Few other things are pending as well. Wish I had slept last night, because this is going to be a long night :( (As every other night is at ISB) . Nothing really new, but still hoping I could get back the four days of blissful sleep I caught up on at home during this term break.

Got to go to wrap Thunderbird document.

I hope I make frequent posts from now on.

CIAO.

God did the rest...

2007-12-13T00:43:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

Long before about 7 yrs ago, there's was this little girl who wanted to make it big in the world. Her only aim was to get admitted into BITS Pilani. She dreamt and worked hard. But fate took a different turn and she failed to get an admit though by a narrow margin and went on to do her engineering from one of the lesser known colleges.

That crushed her confidence and she started setting lower targets for herself. She was scared to dream further and lose out on those precious dreams. She was scared that she will be failure to herself.

Then came the moment. The good people in her life gave her confidence to trudge upon the lesser known road. Even if the road ends in a dead end, the lessons along the road will be valuable. She started to dream again. The old nightmares haunted, but she didn't deter from dreaming on.

She tried her best and left God to do the rest. She took GMAT and got into Indian School of Business after few months of study, a fortnight of application completion, a week of interview preparation and a day of thanks to GOD.

It may not be a big thing to most people, but to her it was the return of her confidence, the triumph of her dreams and the shooing away of evil confidence-crushing shadows. She was able to overcome her fears at last and walk out to the world.

Thank you God for doing the rest. Thanks to all those who supported me. A big big thanks to few special people in my life who made this possible.

An emotional CIAO..

VIJAY's Neeya Naana

2007-12-02T22:59:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

I have made it a point to avoid television (Though I do watch dance shows, Chutti TV). In fact I have even stopped viewing songs on TV. One reason being I hate to watch some XYZ person droning on and on and on about useless things. But I do download and watch episodes of Naruto (Japanese Animation) almost everyday.

But there's one show which is not overtly emotional like other talk shows in Tamil. I am of course talking about VIJAY's Neeya Naana. Though it is a debate the host, Gopinath ensures that the discussion doesn't up as a heated argument. (Probably the arguments are edited. But for a channel that seems to advocate controversy, editing sections to avoid conflicts of interest doesn’t sound true). This week the topic of discussion was - "People of the state of TN vs. People of other states" (continuation from last week's episode) It is a very touchy subject. Every person invariably roots for his home state. It is only natural that they do so especially when a person is questioned about ethics and integrity, it is highly unlikely that they will be entirely truthful.
I reserve my judgments and hopefully the blog readers too reserve their judgments as I don't want to change this post to turn into a political case.

What I felt while seeing the show was just this
1) Should a controversial topic such as this be discussed openly and be aired. Will it not hurt the sentiments of groups of people?

2) Few were hostile and admitted their distrust of people from other states. India's strength lies in its ability to embrace different culture. Aren't we weakening the foundations by advocating open hostility towards certain sections of people because of our own prejudices?

3) Personal experience doesn't warrant group behavior. I do agree that society moulds a person's belief, character and customs. But a person’s individual nature is far apart from these generalizations and shouldn't be used as a biasing factor.

In the end Gopinath wrapped the show saying that "hopefully this show breaks the barriers and have made people to be more forthright in their opinion". I hope this happens and my cynicism vaporizes into puffs of smoke. While I do agree that being open about one’s opinion is a good trait and is commendable when followed in nurturing interpersonal relations I fervently believe that generalizations such as "people from XYZ state are not trustworthy" ends up creating distrust and disrespect. (Let the cynic in me die)

To wind up the post, I agree with the statement made by Gopinath that all people as Indians must transcend the barriers and appreciate each others culture. We are striving hard to promote Italian, Spanish and other foreign cultures. We can take little time and effort to study our neighboring state and the rest of India. Let us learn to appreciate each other better.

CIAO.

After so long...

2007-12-02T22:44:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

I am writing this post after so long. The credit goes to Deepak who wanted to revive the sleeping blog(ger).

Life's become very busy. Personal work takes too much time and I hardly get to sleep few hours a day. But I have never been this happy in my entire life. So many things are happening around me and affecting my course of life stream, the tides and tidings of my life has never been brimming with so varied activities. In this one year I feel I have evolved as a better person and the nights are no longer darker.

Coming to the point I took GMAT and have applied (still applying) to universities. Hopefully this time next year my blog will be from a Grad school. Hopefully the prayers love and blessings of the people will carry me through my dreams and desires.

I will be making another post in few minutes. This is just a Welcome home post!!!

CIAO.

UTOPIA

2006-12-11T20:19:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

Back after a long hiatus. September 6 reads the last update !!!
More shocked at my lack of posting. After umpteen promises of updation(in some cases revival) to many of my good friends, I am here finally. (Hopefully my lethargy doesn't continue).

I tried to come back with a bang,
But somewhere missed, and developed a guilty pang,
A heart yearning to write,
Alas, lethargy won over creative light.
So where was I when I wanted to fulfill my heart's desire,
Where did it disappear to, the fire?
And what's my excuse now that I am back,
How am I to escape this genteel sack ?

Happened to come across many a thing,
At times gave a feel that I had sprouted wings,
Of flying high, of feeling glad,
At times slightly sad,
Of learning something of use,
With never ending books making me muse,
Of happiness unadulterated and pure,
with slighting prob's, though with a cure.
With good work to keep my time,
What other work could be more prime ?
I asked myself again and again was this the cause,
And knew by instinct this wasn't the reason for the loss.

Family and work are two halves,
Leaving no quarter or otherwise for anything else,
Considered it a luxury
To take time off to gratify one's own being,
But the minutes before sleep,
During the quiet acceptance of a necessity I let go,
Deciding many a times that procrastination is my greatest foe,
I shed aside a promise I made to myself,
To post this post before I turn into a work/house-elf.

This is my state of UTOPIA I feel,
Transitory it maybe,I make another "me-myself" promise-deal,
Who said promises are meant to be broken ?
Not while a hope remains open.

Hmmm so thats how it goes.. This is what will happen when one happen's to read Vikram Seth :) Love his book "A Suitable Boy", which never seem to end.
And at last about to finish it, which again adds to my euphoria.
Hopefully will be back soon.

CIAO and CIAO soon.

The PeRfEcT Moon

2006-09-06T23:46:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

When I was a kid, I used to visit my parents during summer vacation.( I lived with my grandparents). Most of the nights we would sleep under the stars in a wide open space, , which people would normally refer by the term balcony, but which we used to call "Bail". Don't know the origins of the name, but we referred it that way( Still do). Might be because it helped us escape the oven like interior.

I would gaze at the billion stars, trying unsuccessfully to count them. On many occasions (almost every night) would point the constellations to my mom. The Great bear, also called as Ursa Major, The ursa Minor, the Orion, also called the Hunter and so on...Point out the formation of clouds and name them. (Cumulus Nimbus etc)
Used to keep rattling names till she dozed off to sleep.
Of all the times I remember only a crescent moon. (Not a full moon, blooming in its richness, but a crescent moon glorious even in its waning state)

The PeRfEcT moon,
The perfect moon becomes perfect only to become imperfect.
It reaches the highest point only to come down again.
The pinnacle is attained to touch ground zero once more.
Its is adored only to cursed later.

Its the same single moon.

Only the perception of people viewing the moon changes.

The moon struggles, lives through the month to attain full glory. But that moment of glory is transient, vanishes the next day. And it doesn't quit. Doesn't quit through its period of decline.

Rises , and rises once more to become its glorious self.

Humans try to attain perfection, but if perfection is relative, perfection is just a perception of perfection and not really perfection.

There can exist nothing that is perfect, its the limitation of humans to look beyond the obvious, and therefore conceptualize perfection, while it can never exist.

The path that we take to attain the so called perfection is more important, and more vital than the so called perfection itself.

The pinnacle is transitory, but the path is permanent.

Someone else can take your glory, but never your hardwork.

Others can overshadow you, but can never prevent you from experiencing your life.

All that really matters is not whether or when we succeed, but the choices that we make, and the choices that we never give up.

What we make our life in the end hardly matters, but the road we trudged upon to make our life is what matters.

The perfect moon is more perfect and more loved when its just a crescent,

We are more human with our faults, when we try to limit our faults and become a better person.

Never ever judge yourself.

Accept you as you are, and never let go, till you become what you want to become, and still continue beyond, irrespective of the cycles of change. Extreme darkness can only lead to light.

CIAO.

Worldometer

2006-09-04T23:48:00.000+05:30

Hi all,

One of my friends sent me this link. Worldometers Was really humbled to realise how insignificant we all are compared to the universe we all are.
Made me to realise we could be making some difference somewhere to someone. No life is insignificant when it has got a caring heart that beats for it .

Thought of penning a few words..

Small maybe our quest,

More maybe the time we invest,

But for those who trust,

We have to be our very best.

Hmmm and got this cute little gif image in a forward. Thought of sharing it too.. :)

Till my next post...

CIAO.

Independence day special

2006-08-15T20:38:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

A lazy afternoon, I keep shifting channels in the hope that I would come across something good to watch. No luck :(
But found something "interesting". Independence day special. In all the channels including good old Doordharsan.

Back in school we used to have independence day celebrations with parades, inspiring speeches about the leaders in different languages ( Tamil, English, Hindi) , few dances and of course patriotic songs by the choir. The practices for the same would start a fortnight back. And the auditions for the speeches will be held three days before the event. By which time the whole school would be aware( and in most cases would have witnessed) every single event that was supposed to take place.

On the day of the event other than the above mentioned , there would of course be speeches made by the Principal( which used to drag for hours) and by the Chairman( we would hear muffled sounds instead of a speech) and at the end, few pretty senior girls would called discreetly by staff, to distribute chocolates to all students. At the end of national anthem everyone would push each other to be the first in the queue.

Even after so many years the chocolate craze hasn't subsided :) (In fact become worse). But somehow those two small pieces of chocolate seem more significant than any amount of Dairymilk or Temptations.
After that there would of course be "Roja" film to look forward in Doordharsan. Year after year, the cycle remained the same.

i.e until recently ...
All the channels bid against each other to telecast "India tolaikatchigalil mudhal muraiyaga" films. And yeah if the hero of the film happens to cast in the role of an army officer, its a patriotic movie. Even if the movie's vulgar, it is considered patriotic. Telecast some show where some dumb actor talks about country , about the matyr's, about patriotism blah blah..
Why is there so much dearth of ideas. If they can't engage people without films and actors then please get back to your mega-serial routine. Who really cares what some XYZ person thinks, if the same XYZ person is contributing nothing productive for the nation , other than lousy entertainment ?

I am not against films. I love films. Just happen to consider that it is such a shame, that we are so accustomed to celebrating everything , without realizing the full intent of it. Be it diwali, dusshera or Independence day . Sending forwards wishing independence and convincing ourselves that our part is more than accomplished is such a shame . And I regret that even I am part of it and that I do the same. I can't escape it .

Everyday I see orphaned ( maybe not ) kids in the train dancing , singing aloud songs, begging for alms, playing tricks with the hoops. It is distressing to see that some actually encourage it. At the end of the day, whatever they earn (yes earn) goes to somebody else.
I don't know whether refraining from donating alms helps them.
But I do know that contributing only worsens their sad state of affairs.

When they grow up, they grow up embittered. Embittered by the fact that there's so much disparity in society, embittered by the fact that fate was cruel to them. Who wouldn't. We whine when the food isn't good to our taste buds. They whine because they have no food. We worry when our clothes become dirty. They have no clothes to worry about. We sit and complain about the air condition not functioning properly, when they don't have a shelter to reside .

Even I do all the above mentioned and I am not proud about it. All of us could so easily have been one amongst the kid on the roads. We are lucky that we can read this, while they might not even be aware that such things are being written about them.
At the same time, I am just wondering... They have a life. They too have the same emotions, who am I to pass a judgement that they aren't happy. They might be, except that it is not the kind of happiness that we usually relate to.

Is there a solution ?
For every single kid adopted by some organizations there are ten on the streets, suffering the same fate. Can't we do anything other than feeling for the kids ?
There's one thing we really could do . And which wouldn't require so much of an effort. We can visit the homeless kids sometime and talk to them. They come to you so openly without any inhibitions. They want to held;to be cuddled;to be loved.
Else, we can make contribution for a child's future.
Visit CRY.

As their motto goes

CRY... The initials stand for Child Relief and You. In spirit, it stands for hope, for possibilities, for the conviction that collective action by individuals and organizations can restore India's underprivileged children the rights that are owed to them.

And it is not just one organization. Hundreds of other organizations too do the same. Worth mentioning is the fact that my company too has an organization which doesn't stop with contributions alone. It reaches out to the kids by making them learn English and math taken by its members.

We can make a huge difference. If only , if only we had an heart. After all you spend for your cable more..

Make a difference, Be a proud Indian.

CIAO

Imsai Arasan 23aam Pulikesi

2006-07-23T23:51:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

The title says it all. Saw the movie yesterday.

Liked it a lot. The chief reason being, Vadivelu.

An amazing actor. Real fun to see him with the curved up mustache.

The whole movie is just mindless and senseless humor.

For people who expect movies to be logical, better avoid this one.

The movie's strength lies in its irrationality and illogicity ( For those who are wondering whether illogicity is a valid and established word, I checked it. It is :)).

Whatever the critics might say, worth the money you pay for a ticket.

Though it isn't as funny as one would like it to be, the movie still entertains.

The plot is very simple, twins are separated during birth by the scheming back - stabbing

Raja-Guru ( Chief- Tutor). While one ( the 23rd Pulikesi becomes a puppet and a pawn in the hands of the Raja-Guru , the other twin, Ukkrabuddhan goes on to become a great warrior ( who later becomes the savior)

Meanwhile the innocent Pulikesi is brain washed to extend full support to the British regime in India. Ukkrabuddhan saves the day, by the age old double-act. By swapping places with his twin, defeats the British and reforms the Raja-Guru . All live happily ever after.

The movie is simple and straight forward.It doesn't carry stupid sentiments and is a welcome change. A decent movie which can be watched by anyone. After so long a family entertainer in its truest sense. The movie has its own setbacks too , like for instance the music could have been better. The plot could have been made lot funnier . But if we don't encourage such movies right now, then there might come a time, when only "Dada"type movies are produced.

This may not be the best effort, but nevertheless it is undoubtedly a good effort.

Can definitely be watched once. :)

CIAO.

Moody, touchy and irritable

2006-07-23T23:42:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

Feeling moody as I post this.

I put my trust in you,
Pushed as far as I can go,
For all this,
There's only one thing
You should know..
I tried so hard and got this far,
In the end, it doesn't even matter.

My brother keeps telling me, that whenever he's down, he listens to this particular song of Linkin Park's.
And for the first time, I can't argue with him .:)
So true.. So very true. Just play the song with max volume. It helps. It really does.

CIAO.

New "old" template

2006-07-03T23:54:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

First, feels nice to back in my turf. ( He he :) Nice to have good things beside you ).
Since I changed back to my old template, thought of writing about it.

Disclaimer : All statements that follow are exaggerated and intended only to make others smile :) (Yeah you can laugh or cry. Depends on you much you can tolerate mokkai's;)

Note: Mokkai is a word in Tamil meaning -Superlative usage of "blaydu". Jokes that literally kills or capable or causing extensive damage. Source - Wikipedia )

Made a blunder in changing the template.
Didn't feel like making a post after the change.
Felt alienated(???) in my OWN blog (!!!).
It defeated the whole purpose of blogging for me( Which is to make it as personal as possible . To find my own space, my own identity )

Learnt some important life lessons (???) from this incident.

1) Never go for something that looks good on others. It would not suit you in most cases. Things that work for others does not always work for you. The other template looked professional, nice and is obviously a better choice. But it didn't suit me at all. For the simple reason my blog is not professional. Its personal, the space for my over flowing thoughts ( yeah that's in the header).
Go for only those things that suit you.

2) Never feel ashamed to turn back , once you made a blunder. Its never right to live with a wrong. Once you correct yourself,it gives you immense satisfaction.

3) Always embrace the good things that shaped you into who you are now .In my case it was my blog.

4) Errr.... Don't have a fourth life lesson to write about :)

Feeling light and bright .

Till my next post.

CIAO.

New Template

2006-06-25T01:28:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

He He.. :) Changed my template. The old template wasn't as neat as this.
Thanks Srini.

CIAO.

Need for recognition

2006-06-20T00:23:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

The topic itself is self-explanatory. Everyone of us like to be appreciated, be it a simple word of appreciation or a grand occasion in our honor. We love to be appreciated.

Which is why most companies, try to boost employee morale by having contests such Anthakshari, Dumb Charades or in my case "The best looking workstation hunt " :)
Being so particular and choosy about the dresses and items I choose, thought .. why not ? I convinced myself thinking that i have enough aesthetic sense to decorate my workstation :)

Registered my name at the last day of nominations .

And instantly regretted the decision. On a floor of 400 ,how does it look if one (only one)stay late so that she can decorate( ???????? ) her workstation. People were highly amused at the stuff , rather the range of articles I brought from home. They kept shooting glances at my direction, wondering what I was upto. On top of that my good friends were kalachifying ( kalachifying is word in Tamil. Meaning to tease in a funny manner which generally doesn't hurt) at my interest. I had second thoughts to remove all that I made and go home. But some part of me held on. ( The truth was, having come this far, I didn't wanna turn back. Also didn't wanna lose face by being a spoil sport)
Just thought, what the heck (!!!) let me participate.

The next morning I got early so that I can buy flowers to place inside a crystal bowl. ( Made the flowers to float inside the bowl ) But Murphy's law proved true . Once more :) Came late to office. The moment I entered office, was astonished, happy , overjoyed and dismayed at the same time. (In the same order) Astonished because there were others like me, who gone to even more lengths for decoration :) Happy because of the same. And dismayed too because of the same .:)
I had competition :(((

But then the entire Iobi-Web came to my rescue.

They helped me by contributing all the articles they possessed , right from Lakshmi Ma'am 's Vinayagar(s), to Marina's scented candles (hmm if I am to mention all of her contribution , it will take the entire space ), Raja's watch to Seshadri's mobile stand, Srini's calendar and greeting card, to Sesh's candle holder(s), and of course Sam's elephant and angel to Asheed's and Rajesh's pens.Everybody pitched in and contributed whatever they had :) Felt so good to have people helping me out :)
And above all my lead Wudali's awesome handwork. He made football(s), an ink-pot, a gift box, all out of thin paper. So deft with paper :) It caught everyone's attention and is worth a special mention :)

Then came the make-shift ideas, tied a bow around the gift-box made by my lead, the letter box made out of a poster. The collage of my school photos . The last minute adjustments and speech preparation. He he. It was awesome. Definitely one of the best day at Verizon.

Time for the judges
Two judges came and asked me the routine questions. What was the idea behind this ? Was this made by you ? How many items here, do you have on a regular basis ? Does having these things beside you help you to relax ?
Answered all questions truthfully. Didn't feel like lying. :)

The moment of truth.
After hours of waiting for the results, during which time, all the parvaialargals( the spectators) curiosity as to whether I won a prize could not be sustained.
Decided no point in waiting .. Let me go and have some snacks :) While I was in the cafeteria, one of my friends called up, and told that I got SPECIAL ACCOLADES in the Best Looking workstation hunt :) the my instant reaction was who won the first ( All along , ten eager faces were waiting near me, the faces expectant because of the call I received ) And yeah , I mentioned all three (Un-Intentionally, of course) winners without revealing that won a special prize.

Then I struck me. I did win. Even if its a special prize. On hearing it my friends broke into an instantaneous applause .:) I was really really happy :)

And hence the title.

As a blogger , the need for recognition is satisfied by the a single line comment .
As a poet, when the beauty of our words is appreciated.
As a programmer, when our code executes without any "object reference not set" kinda errors.
As a teacher , when we are able to inspire,
As a friend , when we are trusted and confided with,
As a philosopher, when the thought process is appreciated,
As a musician , when our sounds enthrall ,
As an artist, when our art work is beyond boundaries,
As a kid, when the innocent look places a smile on the lips of others,
As a inventor, when inventions rock the world,
As a human, when we live and let live :)

( There I go again :) Sentimental fool :) )

This post is dedicated to all those who helped me, encouraged me. It takes more than a good heart to let a person step forward when he took the only first step.

THANKS A LOT :) For the encouraging words and act.

CIAO :)

Sounds

2006-06-18T00:19:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

I am posting this in the middle of night, well over 1 AM (!!!!). Read an article, and just loved it.
Wanted to share it with all.

Wait a minute, finish this article before you click to view the other (!!!)

Ever wondered how sounds are produced ?
Ever wondered why we are able to hear only certain sounds and not others ?( Its because the human ear is capable of hearing only frequencies in the range of 20Hz to 20 kHz. Frequency is nothing but the number of cycles per second, or the number of repetitions per second)

Just struck by one thought..
I have heard many saying, "vaai irukkunnradukaga, enna venna pesalama? "
By nature, human ear can hear only certain frequencies.. ( a limitation)
by nature the eye can see only till the LOS (Line of Sight -again a limitation)
Whereas we can speak anything as long as we learn the language. There aren't any natural limitations.( Hmm one can ask whether we can produce sounds in the range outside of 20Hz to 20khz? Dunno the answer to that. But even if we do make it, we sure can't hear it :D )
Why is it so ? Perhaps is it to see how much of a self control we have over ourselves ?
Or perhaps whoever/whatever created us wanted us to find out for ourselves. ( Well the answer to this question of the universe , the life and everything is 42. ( Source- HitchHiker's Guide to galaxy, And the question to the answer- find out for yourself :D)

Don't wanna continue further with this mad talk. Here's the link.
Sounds. Hope you love it as much as I did :)

Ciao

Long time

2006-06-14T22:03:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

Its been long since I posted. Infact don't find anything to make a post on, unless you are interested to read about the astronomical hike of gold rates or a detailed account of the most boring book I have ever read, or if you are remotely interested in one of mokkai's, do leave your comment . Will write about those if I am totally jobless or totally .....huh, some things are better not said.

The truth is, two of my good friends are getting married by the end of the year, and I wish them all the very best . They will shine wherever they go. (Hope they don't read this). Its a huge commitment and responsibility. Glad they made the right choices at the right time.

On a different note, listening to Paartha mudhal naale from Vettaiyaadu Vilaiyaadu.

Amazing song, beautiful lyrics. Hope the visual doesn't disappoint like Vaseegara. Thamarai is one very gifted lyricist. She captures the dreams & fantasies , life & love so poetically. All I can do is sit and wonder , be amazed at the similies and metaphors she draws in her songs.

Sample- Un alaadi anbinil nanaidapin ninaidapin naanum mazhaiyanen.

Meaning..

From the moment I got drenched in your endless love, even I became rain. AWESOME. BEAUTIFUL. Feel unworthy to even praise such brilliance.

On another different note, working on what I was good at few years back. Gives immense satisfaction.Will write about it that , once its all over and done. Might come as a surprise ( or shock) to many. :) Gotto go now. Other commitments demand attention :(.

Will post my next soon.

Till my next post...

CIAO

Shruti meets Monkeys

2006-05-28T22:32:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

Disclaimer :

All characters in this story are entirely my imagination , and bears resemblance only to me (In certain cases to few people whom I know ) . Any incident that resembles something else is purely co-incidental)

Before I start , few clarifications about SHRUTI.

Shruti is not a super hero,

Shruti is not a guardian angel,

Shruti is not a Joan of Arc,

Shruti is just a normal girl unique in her own way.

Now that the disclaimers and clarifications are out, OVER TO SHRUTI.

It was a warm summer day. Summer in Madras can be unbearable, especially if there are six more souls sharing the same space. In this case, the six being, Shruti's grandparents and her two elder brothers, Shashank( alias Sashi ) and Santosh, and her thatha's Sister and Brother ( Tamil for grandpa).

Santhosh, the eldest had nicknamed thatha's sis as Inni. The name had no meaning, it was one of those mazhalai mozhigal which everyone adores. The name stuck and even the relatives started calling her as Inni. As it so happens, after few years everyone forgot her real name, and by the time Shruti was born ( after 4 and 1/2 years) she knew her to be Inni.

Similarly Santosh coined the term Othatha for grandpa's brother. Othatha was very fond of Santosh , and loved him as his own grandson.

The scorching heat burns everything that comes out in the open. Even the birds which swoop and soar , seemed quiet. But nothing not even the blazing sun could hold Shruti from playing outside. Her quest was simple. If her brothers can play in the sun, so can she.
She always made it a point to do what all they are capable , and thus ended up being a tomboy in her early years.

It was weekend, therefore no school. And it was her parent's visiting day .

Every weekend her parents visited , though they lived only a kilometer away. All three wandered near the gate every few seconds for the sound of footsteps. After an hour's impatient wait, they heard it.

Ammmmmma Shruti started screaming at the top of her voice, those standing nearby souls have thought her vocal chord might snap, but they were also used to this routine. She went to the gate to open the main doors. When she opened, instead of her parents, there were three monkeys on top of the mango tree, plucking and throwing mangoes at Sashi.

Mesmerized , Shruti could hardly take her eyes of the monkeys. She hadn't seen one, all her life and was fascinated too see it. When the monkey turned to face her she realized that, a baby monkey was holding its mamma's tummy. Shruti was oddly reminded of herself , she pushed these thoughts aside and continued to stare at her.

By this time Sashi's screams had awoken granny , who had retired for the afternoon nap. She came out and saw what was the source of all commotions, and shied the monkeys away.

Patti ada thorathada, paavum, adu veyila enga pogum. ( Granny don't shoo them away, where will it go in this heat ? ) questioned Santosh.

Aaama, inda madiri paavum partha un sapada adu eduthukum replied Granny.

( If you pity it, then your share of food will go the monkeys)

This thought seemed to terrify Santosh , who was a sappattu piriyan, and thus fell silent. But none, not even the crying Sashi would stop staring at the monkeys. To their delight and fear, the monkeys were staring at these three. The usual noise that was routine during Sundays , was missing. Not even when Amma turned up, did the three leave their posts. Fed up of calling them inside , granny started serve the meal outside.

And suddenly it happened, halfway through a mouthful , Sashi exclaimed,

Patti adunga jump panradungo, inga poguthu ? Poga venanumnu sollu.

Thatha was secretly glad to get rid of this nuisances. He preferred a disciplined life, but was open at the same time had hoped mapillai sir( Shruti's appa) would have called the officials, but mapillai sir was busy trying to draw attention of the kids.

Thatha's hope was in vain, because the monkeys promptly re-appeared in the backyard, where there were more trees and thus less hot. The three kids were delighted to see the monkeys again.

Inni , on noting all the commotion quipped, moonu kurangu, innum moonu kuranga parkaradungo. ( Three monkeys are seeing three other monkeys ) Othatha guffawed on hearing this.

Patti who was always wary of Inni said, kuzhaindagala appadi solladel Paavum nallikki thiruppi schoolukku poganum Avalavu books thookitu vera.

Meanwhile , the three monkeys seemed bored of staring at three kids, especially since, they seemed to be doing nothing other than staring back at them. Soon they fell asleep.

Atlast Patti persuaded them to come inside, and the three realizing that the monkeys wouldn't be awake so soon, decided to take a nap themselves.

After few hours of blissful silence, Shruti's ear- shattering scream woke everyone.

Kannum, adungala kaanum. Appovae sonnen thoonga mattennu, ippo parthiya, adunga poiduchu. Seeing this Santosh and Sashi joined the hue and cry.

Po, inime naanga yaarum un kooda pesa mattom, they chorused .

Patti tried to pacify them, neenga samatha irundeengana naan ungalukku ravaladdu senju tharuven. All three became quiet, because all three loved to eat Patti's special RavaLaddu.

Thatha was glad. He had wanted mapillai sir to make the call, but since mapillai sir, made no signs of calling, thaytha himself had alerted the Zoo officials. They promptly came and whisked the monkeys away.

By night time, all three kids bid their goodbyes to mom and dad,troubled granny to tell them a story ,and went to sleep.

That's the first part. Hope you all like it.

Be sure to give your feedback in the comments section.

Time for me to sleep.

CIAO.

Thanks

2006-05-18T23:15:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

As the title suggests this is Thank You post to Vadivel.
For those who don't know about him, (Non-Verizonites) he is a senior analyst, in my company.
Go through his blog, you'll know why he's one the most respected in my organization.

I remember the day, when he sent a mail to all of us, asking us to go through his blog in the ITWB site. :) He had mentioned in the mail, he feels honoured that Shadman Zafar , SVP ,( I hope I have got the person right) took time to go through his blog and comment.
I couldn't help but draw similarities here :)
It feels the same way to have guys like Vadivel, Deepak, Ramesh go through my blog. (Especially since, I have been doing non-techie posts, most of them being silly) .

Though we( Srini, Vicky, and me) are just fresher's, he was magnanimous to make a post about us My Buddies are blogging.

Thanks a LOT. It means a lot to all of us. Felt good to read about ourselves from a senior person point of view.

P.S. Some more Iobi-Web fresher's are blogging ( Sethu, Vasanth, Seshadri, Ashutosh) Think I have mentioned all people whom I know.

If I have missed to mention someone, pardon me..

Till my next post..

CIAO

Coming Next- Shruti

2006-05-14T23:09:00.000+05:30

Hi all,

Keep watching this space, for Shruti, The Kid around the corner.
She's six, smart , cute and adorable.
Planning to write a series of incidents , about Shruti.
( Shruti, is a figment of my imagination, close to me and reflects me )
I am going to relive my childhood, through the adventures of SHRUTI.

She is that part of me which was always waiting to happen.
She is that part of me , that never was, but always there.
She is my break out area.

Coming Soon.

Till my next post...

CIAO.

Life and Death

2006-05-11T22:37:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

One simple question..

How can we die ? What are the different ways to die ?

The replies come out spontaneously.

Hanging by the rope (ah- gruesome and bad),
Consuming poison (slow and painful, unless its cyanide),
Getting Heart attacks ( multiple ones, you are a goner),
Jumping into deep sea. ( If sea is not accessible, then probably the old, rotten well in the backyard would suffice)
Accidents ( sure way of a rendezvous with Yema-Darma Raja)

Simple isn't it.

Another simple question.

How do we live ? What are the different ways to live ?

Not so simple , isn't it ?

The normal person says,

"What an absurd question. We live. We exist, therefore we live.
How can there be different ways of living. Do you mean work and lifestyle ? Don't confuse yourself and concentrate on the bigger things in life"

And I ask .. "What more bigger or important than LIFE ?"

Says the cynic,

"Life's is, but a journey towards death. All things perish.

Life's wretched ,
A wretched life is meaningless ,
A meaningless life amounts to nothing,
And therefore life itself is nothing.
Therefore going by the premise, life's an illusion, which dreamers chase wantonly. "

And I ask,
Isn't your own wretched life making you to jump to conclusions ? Isn't the fact that others are happy because they are simple, the foremost of your worries ? Don't you at least get some insane pleasure watching others suffer (This is a question only to the cynics and misanthropists. )
In that case, how can you claim that you aren't happy, at least once ?

Says the scientist ,

"biologically, as long as heart beats ,and human body is capable at least one of the six senses, we live".

And I ask,
In that case, even batteries live. They exist , and they expire. (We have rechargeble batteries now, so someday can we bring back the dead ?)

Says the philosopher,

"Thought provoking question. Various theories can be put forward, with each theory subject to different interpretations. It is not simple , otherwise why would it elude meaning for so long? Life's a continuum. If its to die, then why do we have to live ?
If it is to exist physically , why do we feel .
Why do we have emotions ?
Life's better if unanswered, because years will be spent in knowing one's own self. Then by the time we understand life, we would be nearing death."

And what do I say to the philosopher ?
I say nothing.

And what do I say about Life ?

Life's everything. A bit of all of the above. Life's a continuum. Our life doesn't end with us. We spread the wisdom,knowledge,experience and happiness to the next generation.

Life's one BIG bundle. A BIG bundle of emotions.
Care, jealousy, love, lust, agony, ecstasy, sight-seeings, fear, anger, affection, depression, hatred,happiness, loneliness EVERYTHING.

Everyone, will undergo all these emotions, some in abundance, some in trivia. We may pretend that it doesn't exist, we may shun it, we may overlook it, we may feel scared to reveal the nature of ourselves, but yes, they exist. This is life to me.
Experiencing pain and happiness, knowing that no day is alike, awaiting a brand new day, and a brand new beginning , everyday.
Firmly believe in the theory of relativity. Nothing is absolute.
Hatred exists only because love does.
Satan exists only because God does.
Lies exist only because of truth does.
But life ? If I go by the same premise, Life exists only because death does.
So if death kills our body, perishes our soul, then to live implies to CHERISH our soul, to love our existence, knowing that we will never get back this moment.
What we did or didn't do this moment, cannot be reverted .
But still we live, and as long as we exist, we owe ourselves the happiness of existence.
Never letting our spirits die( He he, one mokkai, when we die, we become spirits).
To get a LIFE in short.

To end, I quote one of my favourite quotation,

Life,

A little pain, a little pleasure,
A little heaping up of treasure,
Then no more gazing upon the sun,
All things must end that have begun.

CIAO.

P.S. This post has no connection with the earlier one.

Life :)

2006-05-03T23:35:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

Read a post by Swami about the meaning of life. Fascinated ( pun intended) by it.
Made me to ponder, the meaning of life, love , existence.

But now is not the time . Everything will happen when it has to happen. I am not in the mood to write a deep philosophical (???) post on what life's all about.
For the simple reason, I am not in one of those moods.

The IRONY..
The time when I am deep in thought, I don't get to make a post.
And the time when I post, I am not deep in thought.
Simply because, blogging makes me light hearted( sometimes light headed too :))

But will definitely write on this one. Been thinking about life for a long time .
Have no clue as to what it is all about.
Nobody can give an explanation as to what life is , simply because life in "their" viewpoint, is "their" life.. Not mine. So it can never explain my life, satisfactorily. The basics are common though.

Tried to understand me as a person, but not able to do so completely. Believe that the moment anyone realizes the purpose of their life, they cease to live. In the sense that life carries meaning, only when its a mystery. So prefer learning about myself everyday, in the small gestures,in stupid quarrels,in the times of reflection during the quite unhurried walks to the bus stop, in the hours of thought,while lying on the bed wide awake pondering the deeper purpose of my existence .

But wondering what am I doing by making this post.
About life........ hmmm will write later.
Sleep takes priority (12.30 AM) right now.

NEW ADDITION : Going to write about some fascinating (pun not intended) people I meet everyday. It could be you..Watch out. A small paragraph perhaps..
(No need to fear. I won't mention names, as always).You are free to guess the identity of the person, but it will never be revealed in this blog space .

The first one..
This person, is intelligent, sharp, silly, weird .
No wind can stop this person , and no wind can start too:)
Lazy to the core, when she wants to be lazy, but burns midnight oil when she wants to work.
Likes to live only by her rules, but gets confused somewhere in between .
Loyal to those, who can win her affection ,(even things that can win her affection)
But sometimes prejudiced because of the above reason.
Has certain disregard for things that can be disregarded, and confuses in categorizing those things. Cannot stand hypocrites and rumor mongers.

Unique thing about her---Her SELF , and her independance. Has too much of it, to let it be known :)

Till my next post ..
CAIO.

First Day @ Office

2006-04-21T22:52:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

Celebrated my first day at my new work place.

Its AWESOME. I have no other words for it. Loved it the moment I set my eyes on it.

Its huge, (huge is an understatement. Gigantic X colossal is closer to describing it)

Loved it, inspite of the fact that I have to commute farther everyday.

Loved it, inspite of the fact that only few floors are complete.

Loved it, inspite of the fact that construction is still going on.

Loved it ,inspite of the fact that there's dust and debris all around. (Not inside the floor)

Loved it, inspite of the fact that there are mosquitoes.

Loved it, inspite of the fact that there's no privacy.

Loved it, inspite of the fact that I am unable to adjust my keyboard holder.

Loved it, inspite of the fact that place is cold. (Actually I like the cooling system. As my friend,aptly put it,the AC effect is something one has to feel on his/her own)

Loved it, because my FRIENDS are gonna be here in less than a month :)

( Tch, tch, I am getting emotional )

All that apart, found it neat, elegant & posh.

Though it was official and professional looking, it had an openness about it.

Don't know why I am so fascinated with the place. Considering the fact (huh too many facts in a single post) many my friends seemed to think otherwise.

Before i end, about the surprise event.....

Thanks to Vettiboss and his brilliant scheme, celebrated my friend's birthday in the most unusual way . We made him hunt for his "gift".

Vetaiyadhu , vilaiyadhu.

We initially gave him a clue, which if he decoded correctly would reveal the name of the person he should approach to get the next clue and so on.I missed seeing the fun in action. But heard first hand account of what happened.

I am not gonna write about it in detail as I promised earlier.

It would be unfair to the Vettiboss , the person behind the whole scheme, if I make that post.

So expecting him to post about the event in detail .

Till my next post...

CIAO.

Last Day @ Office

2006-04-20T15:48:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

Keep watching this space for a detailed account about the big event that's going to happen tomorrow.
Lots of surprises planned for someone dear to all of my colleagues (Hope he doesn't read this before tomorrow. Else, I will be killed for spoilers :))

Big day tomorrow ..So much to look forward to !!!
Change of work place, friend's birthday , THE SURPRISE EVENT)

Really excited about it. Listening right now to Ayutha Ezhuthu---Amazing songs. My personal favourite being Yakkai Thiri. Stunning song (just love the part where the singer sings only the swaras.) One of my all time favourites.

The song seems to echo my mood right now. Felt like making this post.

CIAO.

Mega Serials

2006-04-13T21:44:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

Wanted to make this post for a long time. But could make it only now :) Dunno whether I would complete this post. Its boring to "write" about it. Can't believe how people have patience to watch 15 + (!!!)serials a day. i.e. Without considering the ones who do multi-tasking with their little remote controls in hand.(Poor remote Controls). Flipping channels to watch two or more (!!!) serials at the same time.

Mega serials have become part of our life , so much that even meal times depend on the serial timings. All mega serials follow the same pattern., Scheming women who betray their "best friend" by stealing her husband. ALL serials have similar stories. I am just wondering, where do they find time to scheme such winding plots. Considering the fact that make-up takes most of their time, is the rest of the time sincerely dedicated to hatching plots to back-stab an innocent friend. Don't they have to go to jobs ? Don't they have family to look after ? Don't they come home tired that all they can do is fall asleep in the comfort of their beds ? Don't they have other friends to talk to ? Don't they have household work like cleaning, paying bills or sitting idle reflecting upon days progress ( or lack of it ?)

Why is it the characters (the women) has to either be goodness incarnate or the devil herself. ( No guy is significant enough to be a villain, even if he is, he's just a trivial fellow compared to the women folk.)
DO THE SERIAL WRITERS EVER REALIZE THAT NO NORMAL PERSON FALLS INTO THESE CATEGORIES.
I mean "To err is human" Why is that the heroine have to be so submissive????
Are they meaning to say that "proper" Indian girls lack "SELF-RESPECT" . Why do they portray women to be the slave of the in-laws?

Why can't they just portray a normal house-hold ? A normal house-hold, where people don't scheme , where people don't cry everyday,
Where people fight , get back together, go out , have fun, play with the kids, do small thirututhanams that are harmless, have ego clashes with friends, but at the end of the day forget it all, and enjoy with friends and family.

Most astonishing fact is that , these serials are so popular, that even re-telecast of these serials are profitable. My only say is that, the directors, cast and crew should be responsible for what they are telecasting. Piling loads of misery into serials, having cunning, selfish, insolent, abominable, shameless vengeful characters is not natural. So is having characters that are tolerant , submissive, lacking self respect, ready to shoulder burdens of those who committed crimes against them. Get real guys!!!!
Just don't create de-facto standards for women..

At the end of the day, with such a huuuuge market, they can do things in a better way .
At least start by getting realistic !!!!And portray some real characters.. Don't let down the audience who put you guys in so high a position.
That's my say..

CIAO.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

2006-04-11T23:46:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

Ever since, i registered in Gostats, (approximately 45 min back) i am suffering from
"Obsessive Compulsive Disorder". I have been clicking the stats button , every few seconds.
Believe it or not, the first twenty + hits have been mine (yep, its only 45 min, i can understand people being incredulous about this :))

Thankfully my story didin't receive any negative feedback :)

Planning to write my next story soon. (No idea how soon is soon :))
I come home totally exhausted , but somehow blogging energises me.
Also lots of people , have started blogging.
Nice to have a peek inside somebody's else thought process.( The same what you are doing right now)
Anyways this post is just because of my "Obsessive Compulsive Disorder".
So pardon me if it sounds a bit silly..

CIAO.

Climax !!!

2006-04-09T19:09:00.001+05:30

Hi All,

Time for the climax. For the story click here .
Thanks for all the wonderful climaxes..

Deepak's climax was realistic. It was a sensible end. Liked it a lot. Its more or less what would have happened in an actual situation.

Thiru's climax was kind of very nice. Kind of a dream sequence. Liked his version too.

Vasanth's climax was very sentimental and touching. Strong family sentiments, family story.
Liked this end too.

Srini's Climax was very good. The language flow, the descriptions and the narration was great. Liked it a lot.

Surprisingly, nobody wrote any super natural ends. Good to see that nobody's driven by superstitions these days :)
Since liked all the climax's don't want to be partial to one. (I know i am diplomatic :)) So choose all their versions as the audience version.

Now the much awaited(????) climax of mine . Here goes...

Suddenly , one day, driven by impulse, Anand decided to give "their" haunted cottage a visit. He was still feeling guilty for not presenting her with the only house she had desired. Deciding to brave odds, he asked Aditi to get ready. Noticing his excited state, Aditi got ready without asking a word.

She had no clue as to what was in store for them ..

When Anand turned his car car into the all familiar ECR route , Aditi was filled with trepidation. What's is he going to do ? Why is he taking this route ? Hasn't he still given up on the cottage?
Why is he taking such a risk ? Surely we can be happy without this cottage !!

She called softly "Anand. where are you taking me ? Don't tell me you are driving upto the run down cottage again.."

Silence was the only answer she received. Even in the cool AC she began to perspire. Why doesn't he say something. Why is he silent . What's has gotten into him ?

Suddenly some hundred yards from the cottage Anand stopped the car, got out..
'Come out dear', 'there's something i have to show you' . totally terrified now, she wailed ,

'Anand do you think its a really good idea. The same watchman might scare us ' 'Do we really need to do this.'

'Relax dear. Hold my hand. We are going for a walk. Just close your eyes till i ask you to open them'

After a short stretch ..'Open your eyes now'

Slowly she opened her eyes. First her reaction, was pure shock, then it was one of wonder, she couldn't believe it. The run down cotage was nowhere to be seen . In its place, stood an elgant & neat cottage, with a garden in front, a white fence surrounding it. The sea was roaring few hundred yards away. It was the most beautiful sight she had seen in a long while. Infact it looked much better than when she had noticed it first, with the fresh paint filling her nostrils.

How did it happen. Noticing her disbelief, Anand started to explain.
'I wanted to gift it to you, the moment you first set you eyes upon this house.But first i had to finish my MBA. Later i wanted to buy this property, when we decided upon the marriage date. But prices were sky rocketing, and lots of potential buyers were keen to buy this property. I knew if i had to pit against all the prospective buyers, i had to use all my cunning. What i couldn't achieve through wealth, i achieved through strategies.'

With a grin he added 'after all i am a MBA grad. I am supposed to be smart' .

'You are smart dear, no doubt about that'. replied Aditi.

The grin deepened into a smile, making Anand look energised.

'So i created a illusion , that this place was haunted. Murugan here, (the old man who had scared them earlier, came out, with a sheepish grin on his face. ) helped me. He warded off buyers who visited this place. So finally when i offered to buy this place, the owner was more than willing to let me buy it. That too at a reasonable price. My only regret is that i had to wait for a long time to get the place fixed . I had to wait several weeks after marriage to get you this. '

His smile turned into a sad , defeated one.

Aditi however , was in high spirits.
Hey forget that. Think of it this way .. You got this planned long before marriage. So actually it was ours, at the time of marriage. Only now we got time to fix it. I feel as though i am the happiest on earth. What's more important is that you love me so much, to go to such an extent for me . Somehow , somewhere som angel has blessed me with you. '

Anand looked at his loving wife(who was almost in tears) , smiled and said,

'Welcome home dear,' and ushered her into the cottage.

So thats the end of my first story guys and girls. Hope you all liked it .

See you later, till then,

CIAO.

Silver Jubilee !!!!!!

2006-04-02T22:29:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

My 25th blog !!!!

My "tryst" with blogging..
It started in June'2005. Initially blogs were just a space for my overflowing thoughts. (yep that's in the header) I started blogging to vent off my frustations in life. It was just my outlet.
I was undergoing a rough phase, and blogs offered me great consolation. Infact I maintained my anonymity, and never made it known, that i'm a blogger.

That was a period during which Murphy's law became true . :)
If anything can go wrong, it will !!!
Though i had everything, it seemed as though everything was slipping through my fingers.

Then came a god sent ANGEL (who happens to be my best friend ), because of whom i started believing in myself. After that, blogging didn't hold any charm , because my reasons for blogging defeated itself.
I was happy. Didn't have the need to blog anymore..

Once i started working, read a couple of blogs of my colleagues. It ignited my passion for writing. It revived the once "cremated" urge to blog. I stopped blogging for my"self" and started blogging for an audience. (Though not many , enough to keep me going ). Started blogging continously, though not on a regular basis.

One of my very good friends remarked to me once,
"your blogs aren't depressing, they are full of life."
Somehow, that made me happy more than anything else ever did, because it reflected the soul inside. :) I was happy to know that i was happy ( Yep, i am that clueless :)) , because my blog is the real ME.
With every single comment in my blog, my happiness grew.

It has now come to state where i am almost addicted to blogging. Nothing calms me more than a single line comment in my blog (multilines too). Even in my worst moods, blogging neutrals the frustations and anger .And now my 25th post.
Hope i live to write my 100th ...

'coz at the end of the day ,
knowing the fact that someone ,somewhere knows you and understands you in the same way you want to be understood , is all that matters !!! (To me atleast )

Thanks guys and girls for making this possible ...
Keep visiting.

CIAO.

My first story

2006-03-31T15:14:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

This is my first story . ( Actually the second , the first being in Tamil . Also the earlier attempt never saw the light of the day :) Nobody read that. So this can be called as my first story )

Here goes....

Aditi and Anand are in love.

It all started in the first semester. It was the first day of college, Aditi was a nervous wreck. All her friends had warned her about ragging. Though being a premier institution, her college was renowned for "ragging". She was worried and kept dreaming the worst possible scenarios, that can happen.

All her imagination didn't go in vain. Aditi was a beautiful girl, with graceful walk, big bright eyes, long silky hair, and angelic , captivating face. The moment she stepped into college, a senior gang, noticed her. They called her aside, and started talking to her. They all appeared as cinema villains to the innocent ,naive mind of Aditi. As if her life was a movie, out of the blue came Anand, Their eyes met for an instant , and that instant was enough for Aditi , for she knew instinctively that he was not only her savior but also her future.

Thus started their love story. They had their ups and downs but they held on.
After five years, during which Anand had finished his MBA from IIM-A and Aditi had completed her engineering . Both were settled with great jobs..
They decided to take the next step . They planned to get married. Surprisingly, there were no villainous parents. Both were smart, talented, good looking. Even their parents knew, they could never hope to find a better match.

Anand wanted to gift the perfect house for his beautiful angel. During their long courtship ,on one of the occasions ,on a long drive on the ECR , she had squealed with delight, upon coming across a small, elegant beachside cottage. He had vowed to himself that he would do whatever it takes to present it as their marriage gift.

Now was the perfect time to go buy it. On a auspicious day, just weeks before their marriage they set out, seeking "their" property. When they came to the cottage, they found it deserted.
There was no sign of human inhabitation. All around, wild trees had grown,giving the whole place a desolated feel. Aditi had second thoughts , is this the place she wanted to spend her rest of her life? Surely no. Not such a haunted looking cottage..

Disappointed they were about to turn back, when an old man walked towards them .
He noticed their disappointment in their eyes, and yelled..

"Go away..Kids.. This is not the place for you. Strange things have been happening at night. Windows keep fluttering. I keep hearing a woman wailing all through the night. The place is haunted. Don't come here. She'll seek you. And then , she'll kill you. Go away."

Even in the mid of march , in the blazing heat, they were chilled to the bones. They quickly turned back. Aditi clung to him, as though she might lose him the very next minute if she didn't hold on.. Terrified they made a hasty departure.

They got married.Few weeks of bliss went by. Though they seemed the happiest couple on earth, Aditi could sense something troubling Anand. She could sense the quiet moments of reflection, in his faraway eyes, which upon her inquisitive gaze would turn into a drawling smile, chiding her questioning gaze. Somehow he wasn't his usual self ever since the visit to the haunted cottage. He seemed different , as though he was on the verge of disclosing a grave secret.

Suddenly , one day, driven by impulse, Anand decided to give "their" haunted cottage a visit. He was still feeling guilty for not presenting her with the only house she had desired. Deciding to brave odds, he asked Aditi to get ready. Noticing his excited state, Aditi got ready without asking a word.

She had no clue as to what was in store for them ..

I know how I want to end the story , but I want the audience response. All those who read are welcome to write their own version of the climax. The original climax will be posted in a week depending on the response. Also complying to a request from one of my good friends, will post a second climax, which would be selected from the comments.

Come on guys and girls, write out your version.

Value of a woman

2006-03-28T13:30:00.000+05:30

When will guys learn to respect a girl. Not for her beauty, but for herself, for her capabilityies, for her abilities, for her mind, for her thoughts, for her spirit ?
When will they ever realise that girls are not mere dolls of affectation, but are sensible beings equal to them in all fields.
When will they learn to appreciate a girl for what she is, when will they learn to welcome her thoughts , ( because its her thoughts , not just a replica of the guys ) When will they realise that , she has a mind of her own. She is capable of all emotions that guys experience. Feeling are universal. Why should she be submissive , jus because few who don't understand that she has a mind of her own, ridicule her, and subject her to submission.
Its nothing short of harassment . mental harassment . to say how a girl should behave with propriety at all times. Isn't it the same for guys ? Why is it that girls should have a check on themselves. Why is that the guys can run loose. Society is too very unfair. I am not suggesting for an instant that i want to break loose, and do what i want. Fortunately, the peple around me, know that i can, but don't do so because of my own restrictions on myself, not anyone else's.
Its jus that , when society imposes restrictions it should for all, irrespective of gender. When will gender bias end ??
a big ??????????? is the only answer i get !!!!

Thee By En'Core

2006-03-26T00:20:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

I went to the release of this album. It was a simple ceremony.. But their music, in a total contrast to them .. Totally professional.. Read about the album review in lazygeek Couldn't resist quoting it here.
"Now a bunch of guys, naming their band as Encore have come out with a Tamil pop album Thee. They sent across an email with a pointer to their music samples. Listening even to the first one, I've to say I'm thoroughly impressed. At first it seemed like an email to get some blog bandwidth but they sure rock. Their title number, Thee has some amazing strings and some superb rhythm programming(notice the aygiri nandhini tune jammed in-between). The music sounded very professional and nothing close to being an amateur troupe. I just glanced down to read the credits and saw Percussion - Sivamani, Bass - Keith Peters. Both, masters in their own areas. And the label of release was Saregama. The singers list had Devan, Malgudi Suba and Chinmayi. Seems like they got the big fishes in the industry for their album. Apart from their title track Thee, I also liked Dhinam Dhinam and Chinmayi's Thaai Polavae(can't sing at a lower pitch than this).
Though one has to listen the entire album before jumping to a conclusion, I loved majority of their samples and am looking forward to the rest. Encore formed by Bharat / Jagdhish / Karthik / Krishna and Katz are trying to revive Tamil Pop. I hope and wish their attempts gets noticed and reaches out to the masses. "
Another one by Suresh Kumar :
The most likeable thing about the album is the way they have beautifully built the layers one over the other in preludes and interludes of the songs. The layers in harmony and nice orchestration make us feel ecstatic when we listen to them. Also they have tried different sounds and fusion and it has worked out well. Summing up, Encore proves that they have a fire within with their debut album “Thee”.

To quote these guys "Life is short; We wanted to make life worthwhile through our music. We have started the first step, but still as Robert Frost's saying goes, "We have miles to go before we sleep"...... mail@theebyencore.com "

I have heard the songs over and over again.. Believe me , its a great effort. Worth every single peeny you speand on this.Wish i had lived upto my own expectations :(
Still i can though :)

CIAO.

I am happy

2006-03-25T23:02:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

I feel good ( tada tada tada tan..)
I feel good ( tada tada tada tan..)
I feel good ( tan tan)
Feel good...

I know I'M not making sense.. but thats me.. whnever i am too happy or too sad( which is most of the time ) i don't make sense .

CIAO

My home Comp's alright !!!!

2006-03-25T22:53:00.000+05:30

Hi All,
Now i don't have to look around furtively wondering whether anyone in office wold catch me blogging. Nothing wrong, but still would feel embarrassed if caught . Now bak in home turf !!
Great !!!!! You can expect frequent blogs from now on

CIAO...

Feels nice to be remembered

2006-02-21T19:07:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

Its been long since I posted.. Was not free (read :not busy) . Just not free!!!
I have been thinking about this blog for quite a few days..
About the people who don't matter to us, but who touch with their warmth and honesty.
They are unforgettable people in my life. Though I don't even know their names. They are the kind of people we meet everyday on the roads, nothing extraordinary about them , but people blessed with something which most of us, in this materialistic world have forsaken.
They are kind, attach value to humans. ( I have been with them for utmost 5 minutes) .Yet their aura was so powerful that they really make me wonder..

One is a salesman in a huge textile showroom.(The one that I frequent) The person is atleast 20 years elder to me. Yet he called me Madam .. That hurt. ( Its the same when the security people in my office refer me by the same) Just working in reputed firm , and earning more than these people doesn't qualify me to be treated that way. What sort of world this, which judges a person by their bank balance.. Anyway coming back to this guy, he was so honest. He could have cheated me quoting a price far above the original, and I would have bought the salwar for the same, but he chose not tooo. Lotsa people are honest I agree, but the amount of dedication he showed to his work overwhelmed me.. Before I left I just told him, one day you will start your own shop. He seemed both happy and embarrassed by the remark.
The next time I went to the shop, I was a bit preoccupied and didn't notice his attempts to catch my eye.. Just when I was about to leave the shop, I noticed him and went to him and said HI ..Do you remember me'
He replied 'ungala eppadi madam( no madam please) marakka mudiyum' meaning --how can I forget you' chatted with him for few minutes (showed him the bag he sold me on the previous purchase) Its felt really nice to be remembered by him.

The other person is a road side vendor. We buy groundnut from him. (i.e. my mom used to buy, occasionally I accompanied her .But that was long back. Recently when I went to my old place after a long time , I just came across the vendor. So thought of buying groundnut..
He remembered me. And not just me.. My mom... My brother..He even remembered where my brother studied..I was really surprised (I was really happy).

Both are honest people, who attached great importance to people. They could have been just another person on the road , who doesn't give a damn about anything else.
They just restored my faith in humans.. Its requires greatness to instill faith.
I salute and bow to their greatness.

Till my next post...
CIAO..

Fear that i can't express the depth of what i feel...

2006-01-12T18:34:00.001+05:30

Hi All,

I am writing this in a sober mood.
Part of me crying, part of me jumping out with joy,
Partly in ecstasy , partly in agony...
Too many emotions that can't be defined. I know the cause, i just read something, which is too wonderful , absolutely brilliant, emotionally binding, that tears were the natural course of it..
All other unfortunate souls who cannot read coz i lost it.. lost it forever...
Read a truth unleashed...
Too good that it i feel worhtless to write my own version for the fear of losing the sanctity of what's been written..
Words... how deep, how natural, how powerful..
Is there a sword too sharp to cut like words, or a knife that can pierce through your heart leaving a scar forever and ever..
Felt worthless to read it.. Because i don't deserve to read such pure, untold , submission of self..
Just not worth that much..
Somehow, some angel blessed me with such luck..
Today's the most memorable day in my life cause , though i can't explain the implications of what i read, the significance have to be said... Not to do so, will only trap me in my own grief , agony and ecstasy.
Confusing isn't it. Too feel all the emotions at the same time ... Too have all bundled up, that you can't recognise your own feelings, nor understand the prevalent mood , with the present being of no consequence , a feeling of numbness that doesn't subside, making you confused more than ever. Making you an alien to yourself.. I don't find it odd. It has been a way of life all the time..
Wary of surroundings and place, i neither think nor react, not even aware of what i am doing or supposed to do..
A single article... a single man's greatness, wishing it could have been otherwise ...
But fate... and fear that i have expressed too much...

Without a beginning , and an end i quit this ...

CIAO..

Crap,Crap and more Crap!!!

2005-12-16T17:06:00.001+05:30

Hi All,

Long time since i made a post. To be honest , didn't wanna post Tagged - Part II so soon. Especially since many people apreciated it. (Now i am scared that i will diasppoint them with part -II ) And also i din't have anything to write about. Infact i am clueless as to what this blog is gonna be, hence the title - Crap, Crap and more Crap!!!
Let me try poetry ... (another crap one )
I looked up , and saw clear blue sky,
Looked down, saw a butterfly,
But what made me cry ,
A single stolen potato fry !!!

Thats what i said at the beginning, its just Crap, Crap and more Crap !!!

Another one,

I sat up thinking about what to write,
So that my wordings sound right..
I have to consider's reader's plight,
Which is why i'm crapping light !!!

Huh, will i ever write something witty and thought provoking ???
Doubt it, but will try it, attempt it ... one day i might!!!
One day i will !!!

We have to go a long way, to reach what we desire,
To know what we desire, itself takes a long time to know,
The truth is, are we ready to spare time?
To know what we cherish, what we desire?
Think , one day you might know the answer !!!

Didn't wanna sound sentimental, but therei go again,
Sentimental , YOUNG fool..
Don't know what else to blog , so i end it here, guess it not exactly crap.
But when what i wrote, is not what i wanted to write ,
Then its crap right ????
Huh knew that i would somehow bring logic into what i write.

By the way did i write to sound like crap, and argued that even though it wasn't crap, that it is. Huh Crap again. I have gone crazy!!!

I could take two sides and argue both sides , but i think i have crapped enough, so bye for now.

CIAO...

Tagged -1st part

2005-11-21T20:52:00.000+05:30

Hi all,

Though i don't really agree with tagging, i still go ahead with it. Only because i thought it could turn out to be fun after all.
Well in this first part of the "i don't know how many series are there" i would like to share some moments, which are truly precious to me.
In the Chronological order

1. When my kindergaden teacher slapped me 'coz i was very naughty.
2. When my third language teacher beat me coz i wasn't able to read. I scored the highest during the rest of the year in that subject only to show her that i wasn't a dumb person.
3. The first time, i won an inter school oratorical competition.
4. The time i went and complained to my school teacher that guys aren't behaving the way they should( I still feel ashamed about it).
5. My first attempt at acting. Well it was a very fine day. My house was to perform the last. The play was a hilarious one. We had rehearsed so well. Only hitch was that , the moment we went onstage, there was turn of events and a big downpour. Probably the rain wanted to bless us.
6. The time , when we all we about to return from tuition classes. I remeberd that the one of my friends had my note book. She was ahead of me. Then i did , "the one thing" which all my friends still laugh at. I ran clutching my cycle, while instead i could have just cycled. didn't even realise it. Turned back and gave a puzzled look at my friends. It was only later when all laughter had subsided they decided to tell me what happened. (you can guess what happened after that)
7. This too was onstage, i was onstage singing a solo song. My friend, who was at the end of the auditorium, was making faces. And in front of the all the school students( it happened in another school) i shouted at him. Huh? i din't stop at that. I went right back to the satge and resumed from where i had paused. (I wish that atleast i could have started from a stanza instead of the exact line where i let off).
8. When my teacher sent me to thank another teacher for her timely help. I misheard it as dance. I was in my 5th std i guess. The teacher was with the 9th std students. I just went upto her and said "DANCE" . You could guess what happened after that.(Hey it just shows, i never listen to other people right from childhood :)) I could have stopped at that. Buit then again with an eagerness and curiosity thats typical me , i went and asked my teacher what wasit, and promptly went and conveyed the message to the other one(This time i got it right though)
9. I used to stay back and help my ma'am. I used to carry the attendance register for the tuition classes for students of classes 6th upward. (i started doing this when i was in5th) After school hours. The vice principal was very impresssed with me that , one day he walked to my class and gave me a geometry box( I still have it) for my good work.
10. The first time a person said "I love you" .
11. The moment my best friend's parents let me decide (or rather advice) what course would suit their daughter better. Its one thing to be trusted by friends, but its an entirely different thing when Their parents love yuo as their own.
12. The time a person, whom i really cared about, made me cry, and rendered a sweet sincere apology the very next minute. (We are still very good friends)

Guess thats not in the chronological order..
The list goes on, so many memories to share. Will do that in part 2.
Bye for now.
CIAO

Five Point Someone

2005-11-14T14:19:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

I wanted to read this book for a long time. Dunno why, but everybody just kept saying, its a must read. So atlast got to read it. Wanted to write about the book.
Well, for starters, it was a book completely different, in the way it was written , for its "honest to god" account, for its narrative, (absolute , not subtle). Closely knit characters, with no additional complications, a very simple book, but one which conveyed a lot. So accolades to the author who choose to be frank.
As usual with critics, that just the good part about the book. There are two things about the book, that I completely disagree with.
First, its treatment of women, (though not intentional I guess) it kinda portrays "girls are dumb image" well not exactly like that, but kinda like that. i.e. It just talks about the girls being a complete contrast to themselves. To be honest , its true(the part about girls being contrast to themselves), but not in the light manner in which its portrayed in the book.The author can't escape that he's not able to understand girls that's why its this way in the book.That'll be just an excuse. The truth is girls have many things that they correlate together, before formulating an opinion. i.e. Either that or they formulate a opinion without any data. Therefore, from a girls perspective, its completely different, every girl undergoes some sort of trauma, before taking a decision which is considered inappropriate to the surroundings. This is because of the way we have brought up, not just coz they are girls. In other words, girls shoulder more responsibility and are more bothered bout the consequences. They think twice before taking decisions...

Secondly, in the careless way it portrays the youth. Well not careless exactly , but with books like these becoming best -sellers, it will just set an example for all the current gen. True , it does come with a disclaimer, but still certain things could have been avoided.These will become a trend, and the young minds can easily be spoilt. I am not being harsh on the book, its just that I am afraid for the effect this book on the youth. Casual exposure like this, will only increase the curiosity, which could have been dealt in a better way ( I also have to add that, apart from these, I found it an enjoyable, fast read . One book which I just couldn't put down before I finished .And also the author has every right to express what he feels, so I ain't saying he's wrong. Just like the author, I have every right to have my own opinion, that's why I am posting this.)

Well that's my opinion people, you are free to comment..

Till my next post....

CIAO.

Rainy Day in Chennai

2005-10-26T20:05:00.000+05:30

Hi All,
Chennai at its best.... So much rain.. Heavenly climate, windy days ....
Cool breeze that makes you float..
Soft wind that rush through your ears ...
The air around singing merry...
Placing a grin on your face...
A long awaited heaven...
At last in Chennai.

I look up at the sky, wanting to throw my umbrella , to dance , to cheer , to laugh,
to have tears of joy running down my cheeks,
Mingling with the sweet rain,indistinguishable from my tears.
Oh rain, how nice it is to see your pouring down,
Blessing the people on the roads,
Tearing the sky, yet opening my heart,
Down you pour , but lift my spirits,
You are crying, but make me laugh,
Washing away the dread , the fear,
Yet reinforcing the hope, and love,
A BIT of you is all it takes to make a HUGE difference...

You make me write poetry, though meaningless,
Makes me wonder what made me turn into one.
I really do wonder how unselfish you are,
To make all people happy, not expecting anything in return,
You are truly a miracle, for my stony heart is melting ,
Rushing down, my defenses withdrawn.............

Gazing and gazing at you, I lose count of time, place ,people -Yes people,
Wanting to turn into one like you,
Having a freewill, yet making everyone smile ,
The moment you pass them..
I LOVE you rain..

Wanting to be like you,
With so much love in my heart,
waiting for the perfect one,
Like how you found thunder,
Longing to care and be cared,

Waiting for the right opportunity ,
I bid adieu , not to you ,but to my writing
Coz whatever I may write will never do justice to you.
And whatever you make me feel can never be repaid back.
Bye Bye rain , And don't rain often
Coz then I will only dream...

The People who have inspired me

2005-10-24T12:19:00.000+05:30

Hi all,

This post is a tribute to the people who have influenced and inspired me. Being an egoist , I don't usually listen when I know I am right ,(though politely hear what the other person is saying) but these people have inspired me. Three different people, in three different dimensions.

They have greatly shaped my life....

Here goes..................

The first person is my cousin sister. I was totally crazy about her, she used to be the first person I see in the morning (without even brushing my teeth, I used to go to her as soon as I woke up) She was doing her MBBS that time. I remember troubling her all the time, making her to play with me.Sing with me etc etc. She never complained , was a really sweet person . Infact whatever she did ,was what I considered appropriate. I just wanna narrate one small incident. I was the kinda girl who used to think that sightadichifying is a sin (well now I have changed ) One day when I was staying over at my cousin's place( I was 12 years old that time) I told her, why do people esp girls behave so bad, they shouldn't do that. (well u might be wondering whether she laughed out loud at this-She didn't do that. She just remained silent. And said its only natural at this age) I was so confused at that point , how could my idol , say something totally against my belief's. But since she said that , and knowing that she's the sorta person who never goes wrong , I realized its a natural process. U might be wondering how this influenced me. Don't let ur imagination run wild. It just thought me ,not to have any pretense in life. It's more important to realize that being frank is more important than being considered good by a few people who hardly matter. Take responsibility for your actions and BE HONEST TO YOURSELF. There's nothing as bad as self-pretense frank about who you are, don't cheat yourself. Well she thought me that. The incident itself is insignificant. She could have pretended that time and told , whatever I had considered till then is true and that's how a person should be blah blah blah.. But even at that age, she had the integrity not to lie to me for such an insignificant thing. That touched me..

Well goin on to the second person... This girl was my school senior. Two years older to me. We were both in the same house So used to play dramas together .She was the one who really inspired me to be bold, and talk what I feel ,to shed inhibitions.. Infact I feel that talking spontaneously is far easier than speaking a rehearsed one. She was the one who thought me that .(well she didn't teach - I just kinda got the skill from her) An amazing person, she makes audiences spell bound by her speech. She made me take active interest in speaking ,dramatics etc. When she was about to leave school , I went upto her and asked her to fill my slam-book (It's such a shame -these slam books asking people to fill what are their hobbies ,interest ,favorite actor etc etc) Instead a plain paper would suffice and carry more meaning . Well I was young that time so gave her my book .She just wrote this ,though I have more friends much closer than her who filled my book -this one stands out-coz it touched my heart "she wrote_ Dear prathiba , you are cute. Love to have a sister like you. The fact that she would have wanted me as a sister was really overwhelming. (and that too she cramped this much into the tiny space that was available). That was the second person.

Coming to the third , this girl was my college senior, three years older than me. Bubbly and undying enthusiast ,she was ever ready , always a sport , who just loved to make millions of friends. I was glad that I was one amongst her friends in my batch.. (though I was three years younger than her, she never treated me like a junior) And also , her sister being a designer ,she used to wear these amazing clothes ,which looked totally cool on her started taking interest in clothes only after seeing her so beautifully dressed...Just by speaking to her , her enthu caught on me. However tired I was , speaking to her used to revitalise me. Some people really do have that charm (people say that I do have that- but I don't like to brag about it) Well she inspired me, thought that happiness is in me, I can be happy if I want , its the power of the soul , and the mind that influences things.

All the three shared a common trait, they were all honest to themselves, frank ,and had integrity .(No back -biting ) And also all three thought me all this without even saying a word about it . They simply were themselves ,which was why I liked them so much. And they also thought me that being ourselves is more important , Personality traits can be changed according to the benchmark, but personality and the character that defines the person should never change. Simply being ourselves is being great . I owe it to them ,who let me learn in my own way ...... Thus letting me be myself.................

Well then till my next post

CIAO.

One true love

2005-10-21T11:28:00.000+05:30

Hi All,

Well this time , i am gonna write about one true love, that happened (thta i happened to witness in my life). Unlike most i would like to say i was really CRAZY, mad about my one true love. It was my CAT . U know what i did to the cat i loved more than my life, i killed it, yes i killed it.I killed it mercilessly, and the guilt that i carry will exist beyond my grave too.
Rewinding the past, nostalgic memories rush throug h my head ,
Unable to forget the MIOW , unable to forget its cute smile ,
Which used to lift my spirits, whatever position i am in.
It was a cat so NOBLE, (infact i hate to say it was a cat a cat so noble, making its end a finality , a certainity in my life) People might wonder ,even laugh out loud that i am calling a cat as noble, but it was (it was my cat, so it couldn't be anything less , i suppose-- Well this too is one of my mokkai's). Well it had that nobility , and selflessness that even humans fail to have at times. Well i will tell u bout the love story ...........
It started when i was a kid ,when i was in my 4th std i think .My cat staryed into my house. I loved it the moment i set my eyes on it.It was pure white , with a Biiiig bushy tail which it kept fluttering and scuttling around always ,showing off its beauty.(will upload my cat's pic later).
We were good friends , all my worries used to vanish the very instant i set my eyes on it.
Coming to the love story , after long , my cat found a girlfriend (another cat near my place). Well since we loved our cat , we used to feed the other one too. Here's where my cat's nobility and selflessness is shown.The other cat used to hog, it was a glutton ,but we never used to mind. Infact, after eating its share , it used to come to my cat's bowl and start eating. Guess what my cat used to do, IT WILL MOVE ASIDE AND MAKE PLACE FOR ITS GIRL.
Amazing, and if something's left over , after the its gf's finished eating it will eat ,otherwise jsut used to remain happy. So noble,so pure it was. Guess what happened after this, it's gf ditched it.She left him.My cat used to wander around the terrace, looking for the trace of its ONE TRUE LOVE. But
"aval parandhu ponnale
En cattai marandhu ponnale"
It didn't eat for a week. And it stopped looking for a girlfriend after this incident.
Well coming back to the present ,i said that i kiiled my cat. U know how .....
We decided to construct a new house and move in there. But cats are loyal creatures. they are afraid of entering a new place unknown to them. So however hard i tried i couldn't make my cat come to the new place.So it chose to remain in the old place. It died two months later, due lack of care. I hate myself for killing it. I sit around and enjoy at my new home ,while my cat is dead.
Whenver i look at his picture , i feel its imploring ,just asking ,questioning me "why did u leave me" .I feel so bad, it was my dear, my darling , a soul i loved so much , and yet let go.
I had said that if
" u love something let it free , if it comes back to u ,its love ,else it was never loved"
So didn't i LOVE my cat. Why should it be this way????? Only thing i have decided is never to have a cat again in my life .Its the last i could do for u dear (though knowing u, i konw u wouldn't want it that way),my dear dino.
My mind full of memories ,
And heart full of pain,
CIAO--- till my next post

Do love marriages work?????

2005-10-20T18:29:00.000+05:30

Hi all,

Its kinda become like a signature ,me greeting saying ("Hi all") n me signing off saying "Ciao". I happen to like it.So trying to make it a routine.

Well forgetting that n coming to the topic of the blog, Do love marriages work?????, or the topic should have more like do arranged marriages work???? It would have been more apt, i guess.

Well for starters ,most of the people i know come to me when they are in love, nn ask (they have made me the "free consultant" ever ready , always wise and more importantly always nice).Well opinions can be very wrong at times. But its the opinion of other people so i am not complainig(He he he).Well i am again deviating from the topic.

Well coming bak to the topic, when people usually ask is love marriage a better option, i seriously dunno what to tell them, it really depends on wat kinda environment they are brought up in.I seriously feel that when people don't have the guts to go ahead with love ,ready to face any obstacle, (be it parents or society, or caste or creed or money) they shouldn't love.

Coz in the end the suffering which they have to endure as a result of a breakup due to these obvious reasons fro mthe very beginning ,is much more, and much more terrible too. Have seen lots doing this mistake.When a small part of u says that it can't happen, that u won't be together probably u should desist from doing so. Coz in the end u r the loser ,not anyone else. Well there are people who are ready to endure pain too (even its a lost love ,they don't mind)Well those are hopeless cases not to be taken into consideration. Well so if people have the guts to go ahead face all for love, then people i feel u can. Otherwise don't, u will end up hurting urself and ur loved one too.

Ok coming to arranged marriages ,do they work???? Well actually, we make them work, irrespective of whether its really compatible or not, because we have been thought to do so from the very beginning. N frankly ,without knowing anything bout a person how can we marry him or her. What if they r tottally unlike someone we are expecting all along in our life. Happens right ???? Yet we stick together coz its the way we are.(its actually a shame,but in a way its good too) .N hey differences only make us individuals. Otherwise we'll all be clones in the vast of humanity. Well we are prepared to make arranged amrriages work ,regardless of whether it really works, So why don't we try the same wit hlove marriages.

Probably ,we can accept a person unknown (read:arranged marrige) to be non-ideal, and we can accept them not being Mr.Right ,but we somehow cannot digest the fact that the person we loved is not Mr.Right (or miss.Right for that matter). its because we always feel that they are the one for us, born to marry us, and can't envision anything second without thier presence felt.

So whe nthey fall of short of our expectations (or atleast we come to realise only later that htey fall short of our expectations) we cannot accept that. After all they are only humans ,and its totally beyond most people's capacity to feel otherwise.

Well this is how i analyse it to be. So all you people waiting to falll in love, please think twice, and if u r too sure ,go ahead ,and allthe best .Let success be your loved one's.

Well then ,till my next post,

CIAO.

Importance of being independant

2005-10-19T20:32:00.000+05:30

Hi all,
Huh, this time its different.I have a topic to blog about.Unlike my other blogs this has a purpose.It's something that i feel strongly about. It the most important aspect in a person's life.
Independance-- Well i am not talking about the indian independance or liberation of a kingdom, country or whatever. It's not about democracy(thats another topic bout which i think), its bout the liberation of soul. The ability to think ur own thoughts ,the freedom to voice ur own opinions (irrespective of the consensus). Just because ur opinion is not the commonly accepted one doesn't mean that u should change ur opinion to suit that of the mass. Its crazy, when we think something ,After thinking that,after the thought took shape ,colour and pattern, y should we change it just because other's don't agree. Aren't we pretending ,by surrendering without any shame to the mass of common views, destorying our integrity in the process of doing so. Aren't we dragging our soul according to the manipulation of the public. I think we do.But we don't happen to realize it.We don't REALIZE that we are destroying our SELF in the process. Maybe i am being too harsh while saying this , but i know or i feel i am right. N its my opinion, (my opinion cannot be wrong to myself ,if it does ,it was never my opinino iin the first place).I am not saying that we shouldn't change our opinion ,we can but the decision to do so, must be prompted by us ,not by the consensus. Infact that too is our own opinion , i am not saying that we shouldn't be influenced by society , but what i am saying is that ,in the end,its our will, our thought ,our decision that should guide us .Ofcouse these can be because we belive that something or someone else is right, but definitely not because ,the society feels that we ought to think so.
Its about liberating the soul. Its the mighty power of self .Thats what i like most ,total self control.Any person with total self control, will be a true leader, the greatest of the greats, an inspiration to others, an idol, a king, a true and complete human.all of us i think should try to do that, we should be our masters, not hte soiiety.Ofcourse people who are able to achieve this may tend to become totally selfish and apart from controlling themselves will try to control the society around them. But wanting to do so, itself a sign of weakness, a sign saying that power is in vcontrol of them and not viceversa. So this is what i write now, but my strong views on independance sure doesn't end here.
Well thats it for now.( and i apologise for my previous blog , i completely failed myself that time, its a pathetic attempt to blog , n all that .But hey its my blog so i can blog anything.)
Well then CIAO
till my next blog...........

Rapidly, a great leap in blogging

2005-10-19T12:26:00.000+05:30

Hi all,
From now on beware of the number of blogs that i am gonna post. Seriouly u miss few days , u are gonna miss a lot. As i said there are a lot of things to be done and completed today.
But truth is right now i am not able to do anything, coz i don't have the resources.
Bad. But atleast i can blog .Thats great right. Never thought i could do this. Well things always take a turn. So what to write bout right now. My mind's confused right now.So i will write bout confusion. (ok,too much mokkai,i realize ,but wat to do that's me) .
Well there are about a hundred hthoughts criss crossing right now, each competing against one another to take precedance. But so far none succeeded. (probably the thought that i am blogging is the forerunner). People who get to read this may feel what a waste of blogspace. But atleast now my mind's trying to organise itself from chaos. If it succeeds, well then that's when this blog ends. Too Confusing???? When i am not able to understand and correlate all thta i think, nobody else can even dream of understanding.
Ok my mind's now entirely on the blog, its like a dramatic action sequence thats going through my head right now, all fights ,all thoughts vying for attention. (Well i dunno whehter the thought thta they are all vying for attention is in the race or not.But that hardly matters coz, anyway its all inside my head). i make make any take precendence or make them vanish.Supreme control over oneself is wat i preach n try to follow.But not always do i succeed. But i am upon the half way mark in supreme control. N hey those of u who r reading this still,well u get the MOST patient eprson of the year award.(hoping that u wouldn't end up as a patient in mental asylum--yep that's another one of my mokkai.) So thanks to those who r still continuing ,despite my monumental efforts to bore u. Now that my mind's controlled i take leave.
CIAO.

Can't think of topic

2005-10-18T21:12:00.000+05:30

Hi all,
We meet once again.This is a long gap,but well i had my reasons.Was kinda busy and preoccupied with other things.The truth is i don't know what i am blogging about right now, once a sense of happiness flooding through my viens,(don't even know why i am so happy,that too knowing thta tomorrow is gonna be one very very long day in office). Well in this gap learnt lots (both techie and otherwise).
Well for starters i miss my dearset friend, she's gone to calcutta now.On top of that ,people who have mattered to me the most are someplace else.(That too all the people whom i considered very very close ,and without whom i can't envision a life ) have left. Some out of country ,some out of state.
But i guess this way its better.When they were in town the "complacency factor" made me always think that well i can always talk to them tomorrow or day after.The problem was tomorrow nevewr came ,so forget the "day after". But now that they have gone , i keep in touch (read constant touch) through email, networks ,PHONECALLS (plz don't remind bout my mobile bill-just kidding). Well time and space are just test of relations.If relations are from the heart and to the core , then nothing else matters. It works reverse way too.Once u r ready to let go something or someone , whe nthey are not around then they were never as important as you thought them to be in the first place.Sure i do agree that the moments with them will bring peals of alughter to ur face, or tears in ur eyes, but those r just moments ,fleeting and vanishing, transient and sometimes misleading. Just these words keep coming back to me dunno why

"IF u love someone or something ,
Just let go.
If they or that come back to u ,its love
Else ----It was never loved"

Too true, i guess.Only distance can judge relations i feel. So if u r in search of the perfecr friend, or perfect partner or the perfect person in ur life jsut let go. N c what happens. (Again as i have always said -Perfection in my opinion is having imperfections in life,these are the kutty things in life that matter al ot to me-will blog on that one later).Well i think i have made my pt.
And i am really impressed with myself now(i actually started without knowing wat to woite ,n ended making some sense i think)I have improved,dunno wat riaz has to say on this one.
This will ensure that he cooments(ha ha ha ha).
Will then till my next post ----CIAO

just for nothing

2005-09-20T22:16:00.000+05:30

hi all. we meet once more. it has now become a compulsion for me to blog these days. infact when i am travelling i think of topics to blog about. but those r serious stuff. fundamentalism and attitude, idealism etc etc.

tot of writing something not heavy to read.

so the title. actually how many of us do things JUST FOR NOTHING.

all our actions r motivated by some thing or the other. we don't do any action involuntarily. Every single action is because of some motive or the other.

Disagree?????? Lets take a scenario. Ur friend is in need of help. U r in a position to do so.

U help ur friend.Why?????? Only because he is ur friend definitely not.Again disagree ?????????

U help him because in the future u might be in his shoes and he might be the person to bail u out. A favour returned. (Occurs in some cases).But the main motive is that U WANT ur friend to THINK good about u. this is the truth .If someone is gonna feel bad that we helped them ,or hate us because v helped them then sure we won't help them. Its only for gratitude and the FEEL GOOD FACTOR that v help others.

Its bad people.It is actually bad.But v get accolated for our selfless efforts. Irony.V r actually selfish people .But nobody realises. Think people, don't accept data.Format them into facts and information before processing them to interpret behaviour(I think i am gettin bit techy).

Just this at the end of this blog, don't do things because some one said u to do so, don't ever try to pretend goodness, there is no inherent or inherited or acquired good on this earth.The only good u can really do is being good to urself. Thinking positively , having atleast a bit of ego, developing thoughts , improving ur soul.etc etc.

Most i have mentioned r quite arguable. Though i stick to my vesion of it.

In the end its the only thing that matters. Though iwrite all this , i too am just ANOTHER person so i am not completely be able to be the ideal person i dream of being( one of the main criteria I consider ideal is being imperfect in kutti kutti things ).Eventually though i hope to be so.

Bye for now not for ever.

Till my next post

On the job.

2005-09-15T22:46:00.000+05:30

long time no see.this is actually the reality.ppl at office have this great craze for blogging.most that i know r bloggers.got to read few of their blogs today.so inspired that i feel liking blogging right now. but wat to blog about.lots and lots that i can write.but got to be careful since now i have a wider audience.

it actually feels great to work in office.Initially i had my own misgivings, but now i am comfortable. Just when i have settled in ,and feel nice about my group of friends there, i am shifted.Thank goodness Sam is comin with me(4 those who r wondering sam is a girl).But then being shifted has it own advantages too.Lots of guys to sight adichify in viceroy building.
all that apart but again the familiar feeling of dreading into unknown territory creeps in.I dont understand why it works this way for me.

All people at office treat me like a kid. I dont mind it as long as they take me seriously when it comes to work.I havethis gift of blabbering and talkin nonsense that too in a kiddish way that even if i otufy some people they dont really mind it.I am happy about it.So wat does it feel like to work???????
A big ?????????????
Actually we had a sample portal to build.It wasn't tough .But wat was toough was that we had to complete in 2 weeks. Takin off sat & sun thats 10 days.(inclusive of vinayaka chaturti).it was really like hell.we worked inhuman hoursa.Hardly 2 months into work and i am returning by 1'o clock at nite.It was crazy .on top of this we had to give demo to our senior executive.
All in all it was a nightmare fortnite.But it was also great workin.coz i was able to do wat was assigned to me.More than that i did it such tat it worked which was an achievement by itself. Pushin aside modesty, my work was done by 3 ppl in hte other team.
So i am really happy bout it.So as long as u work ,not minding the ungodly hours its alrite.But if u r want a life exclusive of office,not a workaholic,then its good .Infact great . i am not scaring anybody, but its true that all the people who work in software get used to it in the end.
i get reminded of one song at this pt.it goes like this....

I tried so hard ,but lost it all.
in the END it doesnt even matter.
(Linkin Park)

So wat is life if full of care,
and we have no time to stand and stare(Wordsworth i guess,not too sure)

Kutty things inlife should matter a lot than the BIG things in life.
Thats my pt people.
Enjoy small things in life.Big thingswill automatically fall in place.

GOD and faith.

2005-06-20T15:21:00.001+05:30

GOD who is god.A person, a spirit, an embodiment of justice,epitome of mercy ,an immortal soul, the essence of goodness,or all of the above.Maybe or maynot be.God to me is simply FAITH.A faith that wont let evil harm you, a faith that will make you conscientous(because of belief that otherwise u might be punished) ,a faith that will prepare u for the tasks ahead(for fear of failure and faith that hard work leads to success).So faith is everything.Faith is in short GOD.god is not a creation of humans because faith is inherent in humans.i.e.God exists in all humans.When something preexists in humans how can it be a creation.Infact it cannot even be called a discovery because always there's faith inside us.We might shun it, overlook it,pretend it doesn't exist,might even convince ourselves that it never existed.But that hope never fails.It's methods may fail, but hope never fails.Ofcourse that is under hte constraint faith in a true cause never fails.Merciless killings in the name of god,bribes to God in return for granting favours never wins the heart of god.

God doesn't expect ANYTHING from humans.not flowers,not prayers,not animal sacrifices,not cash in undiyal.He gives what he feels we ought to have.Not because of our offerings.God is not for bribe, otherwise not even the richest can afford him.What humans do for venduthal is not needed by god but just a way of saying to one who gave us everything.its the only method known to humans,sacrificing material things which according to man is vital than simple care for fellow humans.Even if u don't go to temples or churches or mosques God is there in u .cause u have faith, faith is GOD. cause god is not a politician who does things in return for hte flowers that is offered to him.i am not saying that we shouldn't offer flowers to god but rather what i am saying is that by doing so,we shouldn't think that god will favour our wishes.god favours our wishes if and when we deserve it.his ways r not understandable,becuse even faith s not understandable.

All i ask of people who read this is just this.U have faith in ur mom ,dad,friends,relatives,other beings,but why don't u have the faith in urself, in the GOD inside u,When u can believe,the idols in the sanctum can work wonders, why don't u trust the santorum inside ur heart.GOD never leaves us, its us who choose to ignore him.plz trust urself,who knows even ur acknowledgement of him might work wonders.Never stop beliving,never stop trusting, GOD and ur SELF.

life to me

2005-06-14T11:31:00.000+05:30

life to me is very preciousnot in the sense that i am afraid that i will drop dead the next minuteits more serious than thatI hve never taken life easilyEven when its easy i wiill look for ulterior motivesmaybe i am paranoid but i firmly beleive that when things go too well for ur own good there's something siniter lurking behindwell its a crazy thought actually,and maybe the effect of the novels i read.

i always feel that love is crazy.coz its not definite.what we think now changes over time and space.so why think what we think now.thats maybe because people r impulsive.most don't think.they act to situations.because when u start thinking inevitably there's something strange lurking over.and people love being simple.they dont want compications they don't undersand in life.i am different in the sense that i love complications in my life.if life's normal for me,i feel immensely disturbed that something's gonna happen.when life's not normal ijust feel at peace that it cannot get worse than this.

so ultimately i realize that i never feel like being happy, coz i fear my happines will be short lived and futile.so i prefer being unhappy.its not only me but most deep down are like this,but don't yet realize it.i dont know what else to write so i conclude with this.

to lose what u have

2005-06-08T18:07:00.000+05:30

life is never easy.atleast i don't think so.its not because i am cynic, its because life's like that.to have what u believe to be the best in the world , a great job, a great career , admiration of all, only to discover its slipping through ur hands before u know it.God's ways are not accountable or understandable, why does he give sooooo much happiness when he knows its going to be short lived, when he knows the pain that comes as a esult is much more terrible.
Its easy to live losing things that u don't have, (coz u never knew u had it in the first place),but to lose something after u get it,and before u r able to enjoy it even for a bit is terrible, its leaves totally unprepared, totallly confused, totally exhausted, totally lifeless.

my soulmate

2005-06-03T11:07:00.000+05:30

This blog is a special tribute to my special friend. This friend of mine is the rarest amongst the rare.She is my sanity.The gentle touch of her hand, the smile on her face,the way she idolizes me, her sweet nature, the way she thinks everything with her heart not her head, everything about her is amazing.

I have never seen a soul so pure, not even the lightest pretense,how she accomades everyone(even those who are not true to her) in her heart, how she always places others interest before her own, never hurting others (even by mistake) the most purest and amazing human i have had the opputunity to meet.She doesn't embarrass me more when i am already embarrassed,always defends me (even when i am wrong ) most caring. Above all she doesn't have the slightest clue that she is all this and much more.She is not this way because its the best way to be, she is like this because she doesn't know how else to be.Her motives are never shadowed with fame ,glory, reconition,reward .Do her wrong, she repays you back with twice the kindness that people don't deserve & do her good she thinks the world of you.

My precious little friend, whom i want for myself, my sweet support, my weakness, and above all my life.

She is Jeevitha for me.

reasons why i created this blog

2005-06-02T18:37:00.000+05:30

hi everyone,

Let us have a small introduction about myself.I am a spirited, enthusiastic INDIVIDUAL. I make my own decision and control my own life.I love reading novels and listening to music and i also collect tickets(though its a habit and not a hobby).I take pleasure both in the presence and absence of people.I love clothes and chocolates.

I am funloving at the same time i am a serious minded individual .I think a lot and i am self analysing.Since i feel my thoughts are overflowing and since this blog space provides me my outlet i have choosen to become a blogger.I want to preserve my anonymity while at the same time reach out to people.I am a contrast to myself(my outer self) most of the the times, and also like million others i need emotional balance which is why this blog was created